Advice Needed Folks

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Lambchops said:
buck your ex's mam, sister (and brother if you are that way inclined) then snap chat her the pics.

as for your daughter - she'll be fine mate - she's not exactly a 'kid' at 11 so I think if you sit her down and explain to her whats happened then she will be upset but she will eventually understand.

btw - how is there no going back with you and your missus - surely you can work on it if, as you say splitting up is killing you both?
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I think she can see how much it is hurting me, but she's decided that it's for the best. Maybe with time, who knows.
 
Lambchops said:
buck your ex's mam, sister (and brother if you are that way inclined) then snap chat her the pics.

as for your daughter - she'll be fine mate - she's not exactly a 'kid' at 11 so I think if you sit her down and explain to her whats happened then she will be upset but she will eventually understand.

btw - how is there no going back with you and your missus - surely you can work on it if, as you say splitting up is killing you both?
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i was thinking that,i think we are missing the gory details which is fair enough
 
dafunk2 said:
Where to start...??? Well after 3 years of marriage and 8 years together the mrs has moved out and there isn't any way back. To say I'm devastated is an understatement. We're both off work as this has totally destroyed us both. I'm still in the house and she's moved in with her Dad.

I have an 11 year old daughter from a previous relationship, and my ex has obviously been a huge part of her life. She was bridesmaid at our wedding and they both adore each other.

I'm at a complete loss as to how I/we tell her. When me and her mum split up she was only 3 and I think it was so much easier at that age. She absolutely worships the ground that my (now) ex walks on, and I really don't know the best way to deal with this. Any help or advice would be massively appreciated.

I know there are a few folk on here that know me, and I would really appreciate that you don't say anything to anyone as it's still early days and only a couple of people know about what's happened.
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sorry to hear that mate, absolute nightmare that!

are you really sure there's no way back?

only advice id give is don't make any rash decisions, im divorced and started again and to have another split doesn't even bare thinking about.

good luck mate!
 
The keeping in contact just ends up getting awkward when either of you move on, my sisters kids had the same issue stepdad there for 12 years then split up, everyones moved on and think the most contact they have now is on Facebook but they a lot older for a younger one dont really see how you could work it or even if should try.
 
abbs said:
sorry to hear that mate, absolute nightmare that!

are you really sure there's no way back?

only advice id give is don't make any rash decisions, im divorced and started again and to have another split doesn't even bare thinking about.

good luck mate!
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I think there could be, but she doesn't.

Cheers mate

Marsden Mackem said:
The keeping in contact just ends up getting awkward when either of you move on, my sisters kids had the same issue stepdad there for 12 years then split up, everyones moved on and think the most contact they have now is on Facebook but they a lot older for a younger one dont really see how you could work it or even if should try.
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Yeah I know what you mean but seems so harsh for them to completely stop contact after she's been such a massive part of her life. God this is a nightmare!!
 
Stay strong and as another poster mentioned in 4 months from now it will be likely be easier to deal with.

It amazes me however I accept these days the work / life pressure challenges us all. It would be easy for most of us to walk away from what we have but often people simply don't consider the alternative.
With this in mind is there no turning back. If you are both miserable with each other than sure maybe time to move on but everyone needs quality time away from the daily shit and express their views openly and honestly.
Best advice is never bottle your emotions as they poison your behaviour.
Get everything out in the open and at least then you have a chance.

Before you separate sit down together and open up to each other.
If this fails at least you both tried. If someone else is involved it makes it more difficult but the grass is not always greener on the the other side.
Life is tough for sure and make sure you talk to trusted friends and family. Don't bottle this up on your own.
 
dafunk2 said:
I think there could be, but she doesn't.

Cheers mate



Yeah I know what you mean but seems so harsh for them to completely stop contact after she's been such a massive part of her life. God this is a nightmare!!
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At that age their mates are as important and they up and leave occasionally,or grandparents passing etc,just the way it is,i think adults understand the finality of it more
 
She's 11 and will be perfectly capable of understanding the situation. Be truthful with her. Don't give her any false hopes about getting back together. She will have loads of friends in her school who have experienced similar situations. Being honest about it might be the most cathartic thing for both of you. Good luck with it.
 
dafunk2 said:
*Probably should have mentioned that my daughter lives with her mum and comes to ours at weekends...
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When I read that I actually said "Oh" out loud, because that could be your biggest problem, depending upon what happened between you and your ex - none of my business, so I'm not asking!

If though there is any lingering bitterness from your ex wife's side (rightly or wrongly) then you can now expect your daughter to be subjected to it.

Just be prepared for any fallout that may result.
 
Laeotaekhun said:
When I read that I actually said "Oh" out loud, because that could be your biggest problem, depending upon what happened between you and your ex - none of my business, so I'm not asking!

If though there is any lingering bitterness from your ex wife's side (rightly or wrongly) then you can now expect your daughter to be subjected to it.

Just be prepared for any fallout that may result.
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Fortunately this won't be an issue as the ex and the ex ex are on good terms

Swindon On Tour said:
Stay strong and as another poster mentioned in 4 months from now it will be likely be easier to deal with.

It amazes me however I accept these days the work / life pressure challenges us all. It would be easy for most of us to walk away from what we have but often people simply don't consider the alternative.
With this in mind is there no turning back. If you are both miserable with each other than sure maybe time to move on but everyone needs quality time away from the daily shit and express their views openly and honestly.
Best advice is never bottle your emotions as they poison your behaviour.
Get everything out in the open and at least then you have a chance.

Before you separate sit down together and open up to each other.
If this fails at least you both tried. If someone else is involved it makes it more difficult but the grass is not always greener on the the other side.
Life is tough for sure and make sure you talk to trusted friends and family. Don't bottle this up on your own.
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Some good words of advice there mate. I am one to bottle things up, hence I have only told work and now this message board!
 
Keawyeds said:
Genuinely amazed the SMB hasn't demanded pics.
Hang in there @dafunk2 look after yourself and your daughter first before you go hoying your knob up the first thing that comes along.
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couldn't disagree more

hoy your cock up everything, as long as you are clear about you just wanting a bit of fun and distraction

just don't start a relationship anytime soon
 
Keawyeds said:
Genuinely amazed the SMB hasn't demanded pics.
Hang in there @dafunk2 look after yourself and your daughter first before you go hoying your knob up the first thing that comes along.
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CatRyan said:
couldn't disagree more

hoy your cock up everything, as long as you are clear about you just wanting a bit of fun and distraction

just don't start a relationship anytime soon
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Can't even think about another woman at the mo but I reckon the latter will be the case
 
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