Classic comedy lines..

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Warren to barker in porridge
Barker " I assume this letter is from someone with no class or style "

Warren " aye it's from the wife "
 
Beavis and butthead on the phone to a sex line.

Woman: "So what are your names?"

Beavis: "Hey Butthead, don't tell her our real names"

Butthead: "Err, I'm Beavis and he's Butthead"
 
“You can’t be an Un-PC PC anymore Ken. You can’t be racist or sexist and I’m all for that but you can't even laugh at dwarves anymore. When they're dancing about in the panto and you're paying 30 quid a ticket it's alright to laugh then. But you see the same fella out shopping with his family on Deansgate, you wind the window down and start singing "High-Ho, High-Ho" he'll turn around and tell you to piss off………didn’t he Phil”

Nige the copper in Early Doors.
 
70's homage.......

Nigeria, where's that?
Ah dinnar. Cant be far cos they gan home for their dinners.

Boy or girl?
Wey man it taks months

So I scratched the red dot of. Won a car!!

Ooh, I spilt tea on me pussy.
 
Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese and there are 5 people in my family, so it must be one of them.
It's either my mum or my dad, or my older brother Colin, or my younger brother Ho-Cha-Chu.
But I think it's Colin.

(Tommy Cooper)
 
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