Create a Toby Carvery Poem and win a £15 voucher.

[chunkyshanhawk53]

I wandered hungry as a cloud
That floats on high o'er pubs and inns,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of unwashed chaverlings;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Spitting and swearing without fabreeze.

Continuous as the third rate wine
And puddings made of clay,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of insipid gravy:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their sprouts on gravied pants .

The meats beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling roasts in glee:
A carrot could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company:
I grazed—and grazed—but little thought
What shite the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the blight of awful food;
And then my heart with fear fills,
I'd rather feast on old road-kills.

You git!

An adaptation of a classic:

I wandered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of charvers at the tills;
Beside the lake, beneath the tree
The rancid Toby Carvery

And you!

 

[Arkle]

You git!


And you!

I think @Bakerlooline gets the Wordsworth prize...

 

[chunkyshanhawk53]

I think @Bakerlooline gets the Wordsworth prize...

Aye

 

[dangermows]

Toby Carvery is rancid
Toby Carvery is shite
Where the scratters meet
To Fart and eat
Id rather starve all night

 

[Arkle]

A haiku:

Toby carvery:
a biblical plague of
rancid turkey fat

 

[dangermows]

Toby Carvery
Toby Carvery
All the cuts of meat
Look like fat mens feet
Toby Carvery

 

[Roger Mellie]

Has anyone posted these to their Facebook competition page yet!?!

 

[dcl0sc]

I my excited beating heart by street lamp light
As you walked towards me in the moonlight
We met, we hugged, I held you so so Tight
I held you pretty Angel as you shone bright
Then after the Toby Carvery, in a back lane
We made love, then again and again and again,
A love in my soul that will always remain,
The night we made love in the pouring rain
Behind the Toby Carvery.

Is this about a time you had a w@nk with a slice of ham from the Toby Carvery....? Awwwwwwwwwwwww, it's lovely!

 

[Bakerlooline]

I think @Bakerlooline gets the Wordsworth prize...

Thanks lads I've gone all moist.

Aye

 

[David M]

I met a girl while out on the town
She was a smashing lass and eager to go down
To the Toby Carvery for a bite to eat
But it was shut so she

Thanks lads I've gone all moist.

Unlike the meat.

 

[tunstall birdman]

Carved your name into a rock,
Wanked your memory into a sock,
It was never meant Toby,
When we met at the Carvery.