Having kids at or around 40.....

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My parents had us when they were 35+. Said the night feeds were difficult, but never regretted getting to spend ten years as a couple without the distraction of bairns.

If you're both healthy and eager for another child, go for it.
 
Life's A Pitch said:
I've started making a list of things
I took for granted before I had kids:

1) everything
2) literally every little thing

The list will no doubt be added to.
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3) Money in your pocket, the little draining shites.
 
hullmackem said:
Anyone done this ?

Our lass (no) is 40 and I'm approaching 39 and we have one kid, little girl, who is 3 and a half. We have chatted about having another one, I tend to feel a tad guilty as our daughter sits and plays on her own and asks to see her cousins all the time. Plus I've always wanted 2 kids. It would be a push financially also.

I'm in two minds still, slightly swaying to having another one. Anyone been through this ?
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We're in exactly the same situation except I'm 44 and the Mrs is 43. We both want another but I'm hardly pulling out all the stops to make it happen. I'm asleep by 8.30 on the couch most nights. :lol:
I'm up at 5.30am workdays then I pick her up from daycare and either do the cooking or bathtime and bedtime story. My time doesn't begin until 8pm. I rarely last half an hour and I'm not talking in the sack.But as you already know you get back 10 fold what you put in and she's fit and healthy so I can't complain and would definately be up for another if I was awake to conceive it. Go for it mate. Our parents never thought about the finances etc. they just did it and made it work. You will to.
 
Do it mate.

We've got a 7 year old and second one on the way, and we're planning having one more if it works out. Im 38 missus is 32.
 
Sir Lancelot said:
It may be worth reading the current research about older mothers and fathers and the increasing number of Autistic spectrum children born to them. Obviously there are other risks such as Down's syndrome.

It was recommended the other day that men should have their sperm frozen when they are eighteen and women should freeze their eggs before they reach thirty.

If you are unfortunate enough to have a child with disabilities you need to consider if your health will stand up to caring for them well into your sixties and seventies. There's a lot to think about.
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Just to put some perspective here. I was only 27 when my daughter was born with a very rare chromosome disorder, she requires 24 hour care and is totally dependent on me (or some other adult). However ten years later, when I was almost 38, I had my son and he is perfectly normal. So its not always age, but obviously its a factor to consider.
 
As with anything if you want to go for it then go for it, I wouldn't let anyone on a forum talk you into, or out of, anything (especially not this forum, it's full of f***ing mentalists!).

Personally I probably wouldn't want a kid at that age but that's purely a personal thing (and I'll be honest, it's just me being selfish). Always wanted to have a bairn and so I was chuffed to bits when the missus gave me my first child last year. I was 29 and she was 28. I wouldn't change it for the world but I do find I miss having my own life! Going for nights out with my missus (and more importantly my mates) are a rare occurrence now. I can't afford to spend money on myself, holidays will be expensive due to out of term time prices and again, when we get there you can't just relax and do what you want, you've got a bairn to look after and have to do what it wants.

That's been hard to get used to but I knew it was coming and like I say I wouldn't change it. What it has done though is make me realise that I like time to myself, I like being able to do what I want, when I want and I feel I've got a lot of life to live yet. I'll happily dedicate the next twenty years to bringing the bairn up but I'm also glad that when he's an adult and standing on his own two feet, moving out etc, I'll still be young enough at 49 to do some things just for myself. I'm sure he'll still be expensive like but if I'm making a decent wage I'll be able to go abroad when I want, go where I want, do what I want, go to away games again and all that kind of stuff. Hopefully I'll still have a good few years left.

So for me, I'd find 40 a bit late, by the time the bairn has grown up I'd be in my 60s and I'd feel restricted in terms of time left in my life to live for me. But again, that's because I have a selfish streak. Maybe there's nothing you'd rather do in your 50s than bring up a kid and fair play if that's your opinion, it's your choice, go for it.
 
Nefarious Ned said:
We had our first when I was 35, had two more since then, I think it's good to do it when you're a bit older. Primarily because you've got most of the shite out of the way that you "think you're missing" once your life gets turned upside down with them!!

I thought late 30s was old, but I'm one of the younger Dads at the bairns school, most of the parents are mid 40s...
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Are you me? My first also at just before 35, third just before I was 40. Don't feel old at school gates. In fact I'd have loved four but just too old now (44). Forget the money. It's priceless.

Guinness Guzzler said:
As with anything if you want to go for it then go for it, I wouldn't let anyone on a forum talk you into, or out of, anything (especially not this forum, it's full of f***ing mentalists!).

Personally I probably wouldn't want a kid at that age but that's purely a personal thing (and I'll be honest, it's just me being selfish). Always wanted to have a bairn and so I was chuffed to bits when the missus gave me my first child last year. I was 29 and she was 28. I wouldn't change it for the world but I do find I miss having my own life! Going for nights out with my missus (and more importantly my mates) are a rare occurrence now. I can't afford to spend money on myself, holidays will be expensive due to out of term time prices and again, when we get there you can't just relax and do what you want, you've got a bairn to look after and have to do what it wants.

That's been hard to get used to but I knew it was coming and like I say I wouldn't change it. What it has done though is make me realise that I like time to myself, I like being able to do what I want, when I want and I feel I've got a lot of life to live yet. I'll happily dedicate the next twenty years to bringing the bairn up but I'm also glad that when he's an adult and standing on his own two feet, moving out etc, I'll still be young enough at 49 to do some things just for myself. I'm sure he'll still be expensive like but if I'm making a decent wage I'll be able to go abroad when I want, go where I want, do what I want, go to away games again and all that kind of stuff. Hopefully I'll still have a good few years left.

So for me, I'd find 40 a bit late, by the time the bairn has grown up I'd be in my 60s and I'd feel restricted in terms of time left in my life to live for me. But again, that's because I have a selfish streak. Maybe there's nothing you'd rather do in your 50s than bring up a kid and fair play if that's your opinion, it's your choice, go for it.
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Don't take this the wrong way but it's a bit me, me, me!

Your lad is only young, wait until he gets older and you are watching him playing cricket/rugby/football. My middle boy (7) is my best mate - loves Sunderland, knows more foreign players than me and can't wait for Euro 2016!
 
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jlaws said:
Are you me? My first also at just before 35, third just before I was 40. Don't feel old at school gates. In fact I'd have loved four but just too old now (44). Forget the money. It's priceless.



Don't take this the wrong way but it's a bit me, me, me!

Your lad is only young, wait until he gets older and you are watching him playing cricket/rugby/football. My middle boy (7) is my best mate - loves Sunderland, knows more foreign players than me and can't wait for Euro 2016!
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Oh I know, it'll be great and I'll love every minute of it. When he's grown up I'll also enjoy (hopefully) going to Sunderland games with him and having drinks together and stuff, it'll be mint. But like I say (and I've admitted it's a bit selfish) I'm glad I'm doing it at this age and will still (health and not getting hit by a bus permitting) still have plenty of years to myself afterwards (when I can still spend time with my son and hopefully, eventually, with grandkids but when it wont be something that takes up all of my time).

You only live once and it's for a very short time really, personally I think it's best to really enjoy your young years (up to mid/late twenties), do all the traveling, away games, all night parties and stuff, then have a kid when you're still quite young (old enough to have a job with a bit of money, young enough to be energetic and all that kind of thing) and still leave time to get more experiences when you're older, travel to bits of the world you haven't seen, spend time just with your partner (assuming you still like her), see the grand kids if you get any.

It might be a bit selfish but there's no right or wrong opinion, I'm glad I'm getting the experience of having a kid but I'm also glad it's at this age, couldn't have handled it much younger and wouldn't have enjoyed it quite as much if significantly older. Each to their own though.
 
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