In the dog house

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My mam f***ing bought the ones that I asked her to buy. I get my boxers shorts from the supermarket because they're a necessary piece of cloth to protect my jeans from shit, piss and sweat. There's nowt sexy about them. Designer underpants are for men who read GQ and look at themselves in the mirror when they have a wank.



I used to work with a lass like you. She used to say things like "I would never go on a date with a guy unless he earned at least £50k", "any man who wears anything other than Calvin's in the trouser department needs to get his shit together".

And you know what? When we went to Edinburgh on the work trip and had a fella who was a lawyer and she had been out with him on six dates, he'd spent a f***ing fortune on her and even sent flowers to the office for her, and she STILL piped me off in the bogs after we'd been on the piss. That's me, who was earning circa £17k and at the time and was wearing five quid plimsolls and a pair of black Asda boxer shorts lovingly picked out by me f***ing ma'!

Excuse me, I read GQ, wear bog standard underpants and don't look in the mirror when I have a wank.
 
I'm off to London with the Mrs tomorrow, checked the train tickets on Tuesday that I'd booked and had stashed away 2 months back. Slacky the simpleton had only gone and booked the Kings Cross to Newcastle leg first. £150 notes lighter to rebook the rattler, cue lots of finger wagging and a face like a melted wellie etc.
Glad i checked to be fair, would have been great rocking up at the station Fri morning with the wrong tickets....
You booked new tickets? Couldve perhaps had them amended for a small admin fee
 
Sunday night I was pissed and acted like a dickhead to the woman, ended up going out last night too and I was kind of a dickhead again.

F**king drink man, I may give it up....

I'm in the dog house, but she said she'll get over it thankfully! Last thing I wanted was the boot.
 
Sunday night I was pissed and acted like a dickhead to the woman, ended up going out last night too and I was kind of a dickhead again.

F**king drink man, I may give it up....

I'm in the dog house, but she said she'll get over it thankfully! Last thing I wanted was the boot.

Normally I wouldn't comment on someones alcohol intake, but if that's what it does to you then maybe you should try to cut back. Falling asleep on the kitchen floor is one thing, but repeatedly 'being a dickhead' sounds ominous.
 
Normally I wouldn't comment on someones alcohol intake, but if that's what it does to you then maybe you should try to cut back. Falling asleep on the kitchen floor is one thing, but repeatedly 'being a dickhead' sounds ominous.

Aye, I'm definitely going too!

I wouldn't mind I don't really like drinking as it doesn't do anything for me, just the social side of things I guess. Not blowing my own trumpet or anything but aside from two wobbles in the past few days, my girlfriend hasn't had an ounce of bother with me so maybe it was just a bad week on my part? Still, I'm not putting it to chance and I'm going to cut back big time on how much I drink on a night out from now on.
 
Aye, I'm definitely going too!

I wouldn't mind I don't really like drinking as it doesn't do anything for me, just the social side of things I guess. Not blowing my own trumpet or anything but aside from two wobbles in the past few days, my girlfriend hasn't had an ounce of bother with me so maybe it was just a bad week on my part? Still, I'm not putting it to chance and I'm going to cut back big time on how much I drink on a night out from now on.


if you have issues between u n missus, coming in pissed can trigger warfare.
 
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