Management speak

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Post your examples here.

I sort of understand this but I needed to read it a few times:

Collaborative delivery of a set of agreed recommendations regarding the potential implementation of a benefits management process for <<our place of work>>. Success will be measured by the ability to deliver the recommendations within the demands placed on <<our department>> by <<our place of work>> and the degree to which the delivery of this objective contributes towards building a single business solutions team.
 


Post your examples here.

I sort of understand this but I needed to read it a few times:

Collaborative delivery of a set of agreed recommendations regarding the potential implementation of a benefits management process for <<our place of work>>. Success will be measured by the ability to deliver the recommendations within the demands placed on <<our department>> by <<our place of work>> and the degree to which the delivery of this objective contributes towards building a single business solutions team.
loose translation
Jims ma 6 o'clock behind the bike sheds bring chips
 
Post your examples here.

I sort of understand this but I needed to read it a few times:

Collaborative delivery of a set of agreed recommendations regarding the potential implementation of a benefits management process for <<our place of work>>. Success will be measured by the ability to deliver the recommendations within the demands placed on <<our department>> by <<our place of work>> and the degree to which the delivery of this objective contributes towards building a single business solutions team.
I think it means, we need to hit our targets.
 
Post your examples here.

I sort of understand this but I needed to read it a few times:

Collaborative delivery of a set of agreed recommendations regarding the potential implementation of a benefits management process for <<our place of work>>. Success will be measured by the ability to deliver the recommendations within the demands placed on <<our department>> by <<our place of work>> and the degree to which the delivery of this objective contributes towards building a single business solutions team.
Suggested plan presented by a group of people of a management process,it must fit in with whats happening and form part of the overall business
 
I've noticed a trend where people have a meeting with clients or a senior manager and start using their buzzwords without the faintest idea what it means.
I could still be in a meeting now discussing 'coffee pots' with someone. I asked him what he meant by it and he replied "well you know, it's like coffee pots". I explained that I knew what a coffee pot was but couldn't see how it related to what we were discussing. "well you know, it's like coffee pots" was his enlightening reply.
 
I've noticed a trend where people have a meeting with clients or a senior manager and start using their buzzwords without the faintest idea what it means.
I could still be in a meeting now discussing 'coffee pots' with someone. I asked him what he meant by it and he replied "well you know, it's like coffee pots". I explained that I knew what a coffee pot was but couldn't see how it related to what we were discussing. "well you know, it's like coffee pots" was his enlightening reply.
I've worked with a few pisspots in my time
 
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