Management speak

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"Longest pole in the tent" which I guess referred to the critical path on a Gantt chart rather than something he had learnt with the scoutmaster.
The person using it used to say "longest tent in the pole" which made even less sense.

He also used to say "I don't follow football but if I did I'd support Newcastle." I'm fairly confident I know what that means.
 
RestlessNatives said:
Matrix management is another one that gets quoted but not understood. Ask anybody to explain it and they'll start drawing a matrix. Tell them that you know what a matrix is and you even know what matrix management is but you'd like to know how it works in this scenario and they are flummoxed.
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It just means that people exist in two organisational structures simultaneously.

Each having a different purpose.

One might be to get products out the door, deliver on specific contracts, etc. There'll probably multidisciplinary teams, project managers, contract managers, etc.

The other might be to provide for the long term management of those people without regard to specific projects. Set procedures and standards, identify training needs, etc. Instead of project managers there'll be discipline related managers who know a lot about their particular discipline (e.g. software development).

So let's say I'm a software engineer.

I'll belong to some project team with the mission to deliver some product/project (or part thereof). Above me there'll be people responsible for getting the whole thing out the door, so that the company makes money. They typically aren't very technical. That's the "X axis" I'm on.

I may also independently report, along with all the other software engineers, to a Software Development Manager. Who isn't so much concerned with my daily work on my project, but who has set the procedures, methodologies, tools, etc, that all the software engineers use. She'll manage overall resourcing, training, performance reviews, etc, and will be technical. That's the "Y axis" I also work on.

So it's not really a matrix at all, just two separate (ish) organisational trees each of which has a place for me, and a purpose.

At least that's how I usually explain it.
 
On a slightly related note, years ago one of my mates was pissing about with a document and put a BDC (Big Dog's Cock) as a hardware requirement for a laugh. It somehow stayed in the document that went live and was then copied by many people who never bothered reading it properly. Made for interesting meetings when they were asked to explain what a BDC was.

We now have Business Development Consultants with the same initials and pretty much the same meaning.

Her Ivory Tower said:
Signposting :evil::evil:
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It wasn't on my radar.
 
Roger Senseless said:
It just means that people exist in two organisational structures simultaneously.

Each having a different purpose.

One might be to get products out the door, deliver on specific contracts, etc. There'll probably multidisciplinary teams, project managers, contract managers, etc.

The other might be to provide for the long term management of those people without regard to specific projects. Set procedures and standards, identify training needs, etc. Instead of project managers there'll be discipline related managers who know a lot about their particular discipline (e.g. software development).

So let's say I'm a software engineer.

I'll belong to some project team with the mission to deliver some product/project (or part thereof). Above me there'll be people responsible for getting the whole thing out the door, so that the company makes money. They typically aren't very technical. That's the "X axis" I'm on.

I may also independently report, along with all the other software engineers, to a Software Development Manager. Who isn't so much concerned with my daily work on my project, but who has set the procedures, methodologies, tools, etc, that all the software engineers use. She'll manage overall resourcing, training, performance reviews, etc, and will be technical. That's the "Y axis" I also work on.

So it's not really a matrix at all, just two separate (ish) organisational trees each of which has a place for me, and a purpose.

At least that's how I usually explain it.
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Do you get invited to many parties?
 
'Window of opportunity'

'In this space'

Just had a call today from a rep who said she wanted to 'bring me up to speed on some exciting developments'

Fuck off
 
Her Ivory Tower said:
Don't drop the ball.
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:lol:
That is a common term between me and my mate if we need to wind each other up.
We once witnessed someone nearly pass out with stress and their manager's reaction was "Don't have a whitey" and "but seriously, don't drop the ball on this one."
If either of us are getting stressed, we tell the other not to drop the ball. It usually results in a 'fuck off' then the stress is gone as we realise it's pointless.
 
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