Richard 'Patridge' Madeley quotes

[Cowvahlo]

Blokes a genius bellend, this got me laughing and twinging though...

39.When interviewing Keira Knightly

“Can we get some make up please, get Keira looking like a crack whore, she’d make a good crack whore”

 

[Boris Bear]

What about "I didn't steal it, I just forgot to pay"?

 

[Sebasaurus II]

34..In reply to John Fashanu saying his nightmares were so bad, he often woke up with his bed saturated

”With sweat?”

 

[smeg]

“I understand you have a little lad of 12. Is it a boy or a girl?”

 

[Cowvahlo]

Thought this was a good one as well, reckon he know's he's a tit but just doesn't care...

30.After Ricky Gervais points out the cameraman is doing the ‘wanker sign’ behind Madeleys back

“He’s been doing it most of the week (sighs). He doesn’t realize that I can see him doing it in the reflection from the other camera’s Auto-cue…I don’t know why he’s still working here, really.”

 

[Sebasaurus II]

10. To a teenager suffering from anorexia

“5 stone! That’s concentration camp thin that is”

fuck me I'm crying at these. Can't help but imagine Partridge saying them anarl

Me an'all

 

[j.w]

This shits got to be made up

 

[oROSSo]

38.After a man breaks down crying after meeting the paramedics who saved his life in a motorbike accident

“Stop crying! This is supposed to make you happy! Anyway after the break, the biggest dog in the UK. And he really is big. Don’t miss it”

Got tears rolling down my face from laughing, get the man back on tv!

I reckon this one is the best.

 

[Sebasaurus II]

http://richardmadeleyquotes.tumblr.com/

 

[oROSSo]

http://richardmadeleyquotes.tumblr.com/

"Frankly, I don’t think that what we see on television is erotic enough. I haven’t seen a sex scene on television recently that has remotely turned me on. And I’ve been there till 4am waiting for it."

covered in chocolate mousse.

 

[smeg]

 

[j.w]

This shite is made up

Iinterviewing a young kid with leukaemia. He greeted the boy with a cheery “Hello baldy!”.

 

[CraigyLee]

"Frankly, I don’t think that what we see on television is erotic enough. I haven’t seen a sex scene on television recently that has remotely turned me on. And I’ve been there till 4am waiting for it."

covered in chocolate mousse.

These have to be fake

best thing i've read on the internet since Kris Akabussi's sex stories

 

[oROSSo]

Richard starts reminiscing about when he was small and his mother undressed in front of him.

"Where are we going with this?" Judy demands.

In a moment of pure Alan Partridge, Richard announces the competition.

"David Seaman is celebrating his 39th birthday today. His ponytail is 10!"

JUDY: “Blimey, I nearly sat on my microphone - I dread to think where it would have gone.”

RICHARD: “Oooh I can tell you Judy. There’s only one of two options!”

i'm gonna have to stop looking, my holding back shaking shoulders here.

 

[Sebasaurus II]

i'm gonna have to stop looking, my holding back shaking shoulders here.

“And that’s a self-portrait of himself, by himself.”

 

[oROSSo]

Having watched a man struggling horribly with his stutter, Madeley turned to him and enthused: “You looked as if your head was going to come off!”

 

[dixonsafc]

f***ing hell man, i'm in bits. I pray they are all legit.

 

[oROSSo]

f***ing hell man, i'm in bits. I pray they are all legit.

i've slumped behind my screen, I have tears rolling down my face

 

[ilovehorswill]

Saw one of these threads years back. Here's two I remember.

(To a young lass having chemotherapy)

"Can I just say, you have a magnificently shaped head"

(To a gay bloke whose partner is cheating)

"It always hurts when they go behind your back"

 

[muggboots]

1.When talking to Bill Clinton about his affair with Monica Lewinsky

“I know what it’s like to be wronged by the press. I was once accused of shoplifting. Unlike you though, I knew I was innocent”.