S
sidewinder
Guest
What are made of brass and sounds like Tom Jones
Trombones
Trombones
Unoffensive joke thread
- Thread starter PTR
- Start date
- Status
Urban Silverback
Striker
SeahamMackem
Winger
Will smith is at the centre of a police investigation, as it's believed he committed a murder in Antarctica and vanished into the snow.
Officers are looking for fresh prints.
I quit my job at the helium gas factory.
I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.
I used to work as a trampoline salesman.
Off and on.
Officers are looking for fresh prints.
I quit my job at the helium gas factory.
I refuse to be spoken to in that tone.
I used to work as a trampoline salesman.
Off and on.
I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time....I think I've forgotten this before.
A lad comes home to find his grandma sitting in the living room. "Hey Grandma, have you seen my pills? They say LSD on them."
Grandma says "Never mind your pills, have you seen the size of that dragon?"
Grandma says "Never mind your pills, have you seen the size of that dragon?"
Mam..mam.... nans got a pawn between her legs....
mum looks.... thats not a prawn son.. thats her clitoris...
oh..... tasted like prawn
mum looks.... thats not a prawn son.. thats her clitoris...
oh..... tasted like prawn
Yesterday I accidentally sent a naked picture of myself to everyone in my address book.
Not only was it embarrassing, it also cost a fortune in stamps.
Whoa, did inoffensive get redefined?
Not only was it embarrassing, it also cost a fortune in stamps.
Whoa, did inoffensive get redefined?
I wasnt offended..
but yes it went too far...
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right up to the wrist
Where do impoverished Elvis Presley fans get their cake?
In the gateau.
Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other - "Does this taste funny to you?"
In the gateau.
Two cannibals eating a clown. One says to the other - "Does this taste funny to you?"
A
Apple Pie
Guest
An owl and a squirrel are sitting in a tree, watching a farmer go by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing, because owls can't talk. The owl then eats the squirrel because it's a bird of prey.
A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.
A gorilla walks into a bar and order a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is a little peculiar and then becomes aware he is actually dreaming. He wakes up from his dream and begins to tell his wife about the ridiculous dream he had. His wife just ignores him, the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes his marriage is in shambles.
How did bob marley like his donuts..
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preferably with custard...
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preferably with custard...
A
Apple Pie
Guest
What is
red
and smells
like
blue paint
red paint
---
what did one lawyer say to the other
"hey we are both lawyers"
red
and smells
like
blue paint
red paint
---
what did one lawyer say to the other
"hey we are both lawyers"
How do you keep a moron in suspense?
A
Apple Pie
Guest
I dunno, how?
What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance?
"Hey, look - a herd of elephants in the distance."
What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance wearing sunglasses?
Nothing, he didn't recognise them.
Ask him a riddle or joke type construction that doesn't have a punchline, then don't provide the answer. He will sit waiting for the answer in a state of, as the original question says, suspense, without ever hearing the end of the joke/riddle.
"Hey, look - a herd of elephants in the distance."
What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of elephants in the distance wearing sunglasses?
Nothing, he didn't recognise them.
Ask him a riddle or joke type construction that doesn't have a punchline, then don't provide the answer. He will sit waiting for the answer in a state of, as the original question says, suspense, without ever hearing the end of the joke/riddle.
- Status
