Worst First date

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Safcpeterlee81

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Been talking to some lass on POF for a few weeks looked canny etc etc... anyway arranged to meet down Hartlepool Marina for a few drinks..


anyway what turned up was about 20 stone heavier and 10 years older than her pictures and smelt of a cross between what can only be described as Chip Lard and Cat litter..

after the first drink i went for a piss and txt me mate for a lift told him to pull up outside..anyway as soon as i got me txt, offered to go to the bar and fucked off outside, got a txt about 20 mins later asking where i was hah never replied.
 


Safcpeterlee81 said:
Been talking to some lass on POF for a few weeks looked canny etc etc... anyway arranged to meet down Hartlepool Marina for a few drinks..


anyway what turned up was about 20 stone heavier and 10 years older than her pictures and smelt of a cross between what can only be described as Chip Lard and Cat litter..

after the first drink i went for a piss and txt me mate for a lift told him to pull up outside..anyway as soon as i got me txt, offered to go to the bar and fucked off outside, got a txt about 20 mins later asking where i was hah never replied.
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I've only ever been one date. 45 years later, we're still together.

@PixieFaceFTM should be an expert on this though.
 
Safcpeterlee81 said:
Been talking to some lass on POF for a few weeks looked canny etc etc... anyway arranged to meet down Hartlepool Marina for a few drinks..


anyway what turned up was about 20 stone heavier and 10 years older than her pictures and smelt of a cross between what can only be described as Chip Lard and Cat litter..

after the first drink i went for a piss and txt me mate for a lift told him to pull up outside..anyway as soon as i got me txt, offered to go to the bar and fucked off outside, got a txt about 20 mins later asking where i was hah never replied.
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What about your crab and lobster lass?
 
From Google:

"I had been talking to this girl for a few weeks and she finally asked if I wanted to get together on a Saturday afternoon. I happily agreed, even when she asked me to wear a suit. I figured it was odd, but thought we were going somewhere fancy, which I was excited about. We were not going anywhere fancy at all. We were going to her aunt’s funeral. She told me she needed someone with her but knew if she told me I would’ve said no. Obviously I would have liked a little heads up on it, so I spent our entire first date meeting her weeping relatives at a funeral."
 
I had a blind date arranged for me at tall trees with my mate who was with her mate

Got told she had a tit job so I was well up for it, hadn't realised the tit job was to get rid of fat as she was a f***ing mess. Said hello to her then had to hide
 
j.w said:
What about your crab and lobster lass?
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haha this first date was about 11 year ago........as for my lass now.....we had a good night in Durham got pissed and she got brownie points for not putting out on a first date...plus it was the night before the Derby the First 0-3 at Sid James Park and i wouldnt of missed that even for a buck
 
Before I met Mrs K, I went to Macclesfield to meet a lass who seemed nice.
Went to a bar, she wasn't drinking. Spent most of the night asking her questions to keep the conversation going.
Boring bint.
 
j.w said:
I had a blind date arranged for me at tall trees with my mate who was with her mate

Got told she had a tit job so I was well up for it, hadn't realised the tit job was to get rid of fat as she was a f***ing mess. Said hello to her then had to hide
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bet her fanny was liftin
 
Safcpeterlee81 said:
haha this first date was about 11 year ago........as for my lass now.....we had a good night in Durham got pissed and she got brownie points for not putting out on a first date...plus it was the night before the Derby the First 0-3 at Sid James Park and i wouldnt of missed that even for a buck
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Took me about 4 weeks before I got anything off our lass

All replies welcome saying it took anyone else shorter
 
Cockney Mackem said:
From Google:

"I had been talking to this girl for a few weeks and she finally asked if I wanted to get together on a Saturday afternoon. I happily agreed, even when she asked me to wear a suit. I figured it was odd, but thought we were going somewhere fancy, which I was excited about. We were not going anywhere fancy at all. We were going to her aunt’s funeral. She told me she needed someone with her but knew if she told me I would’ve said no. Obviously I would have liked a little heads up on it, so I spent our entire first date meeting her weeping relatives at a funeral."
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j.w said:
Took me about 4 weeks before I got anything off our lass

All replies welcome saying it took anyone else shorter
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almost 4 weeks here, apparenly she had a 4 date rule i just made sure dates 3 and 4 were in the same week as i was busting
 
This thread has legs! Mentioned it before but took a lass to the cinema. She fcked off half way through after saying she was going to the loo. Cara you b!tch
 
Lambchops said:
Years ago i was set up on a blind date by a lass in the office with her mate. What turned up was horrific, feltembarrassed to be in the bar with her. Dropped her off by 9pm, thought in for a penny in for a poundand bucked it and was back in the pub with the lads for last orders
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Last orders was 10.50pm right? What did you do for the other 1 hour and 48 minutes? ;)
 
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