Did you get a happy ending?
Depends if he was feeling sleepy
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Did you get a happy ending?
Similarly one of my mates was a bit pissed and pulled a lass. Back at her place she pulls out a load of scarf type things and asks to be tied to the bed. No problem says my mate - first hand tied to the bed head no problem - goes for the second to find no hand. He hadn't noticed.
A 'mate' (truthfully) took a lass out off POF. She told him she couldn't drink, so he plyed her with wine to take advantage. Said she was manky, and 'Sunderlands No.1 fan' to top it off (He's NUFC ST holder) but he thought 'in for a penny, in for a poundland' and persevered.
Got back to his flat share and his mate had some lads around, so not to be judged he started pushing her up the stairs when she was trying to see what was going on inside, so the lads couldn't see how bad she was.
On the way up the stairs he was pushing her arse, and thought she felt a bit 'wet'. Turns out she had shit yerself. He has very little standards so he still got her into bed, but thought better of it and just let her sleep.
He reckons he was just as bad (apart from shitting himself) so when he woke up in the morning and slipped her one he didn't remember until he seen the skiddies on the bedclothes. Still finished though
Obviously he got rid of her early doors, but his flatmate hadn't heard them leave, so popped his head in the room to see how he got on the previous night, only to witness his shit covered bed
I took this lass out one night in newcastle and she wanted to go home at 1030 she wasnt a big drinker and i was plying her with drinks so i'd get a buck later on. Anywag we get back to hers and shes like a dog in heat, piping me off, licking my arsehole the works. As im humping her from behind she's telling me she wants it up the arse so i spread her cheeks and ease the little general in - all of a sudden she starts screaming, telling me to get off her and that her ex husband had anally raped her!!! I got the fuck out of there sharpish
lasses are mental mind.I went back to a lass's flat with two of her mates with the idea of having a foursome one night after being out in Newcastle. I went into the bedroom with one of the lasses while the other two were outside giggling saying they'd come in and join us once we got going.
Anyway, we're literally seconds away from penetration when the lass just looks at me and goes "who the FUCK are you?"
From the look on her face I knew that it was going to end badly. I said "what do you mean?". She started to get teary-eyed and says again "who are you? I don't know you! What's the fuck's going on?! Get off me!" and started screaming and crying her eyes out. I stood up and she ran out of the room, the lasses were in the kitchen asking her what was wrong and she was so hysterical that she couldn't get her words out.
I was that scared that I just grabbed my clothes and nashed off, put them on in the lift and ran back to my mate's flat in Heaton.
You disgust meI went back to a lass's flat with two of her mates with the idea of having a foursome one night after being out in Newcastle. I went into the bedroom with one of the lasses while the other two were outside giggling saying they'd come in and join us once we got going.
Anyway, we're literally seconds away from penetration when the lass just looks at me and goes "who the FUCK are you?"
From the look on her face I knew that it was going to end badly. I said "what do you mean?". She started to get teary-eyed and says again "who are you? I don't know you! What's the fuck's going on?! Get off me!" and started screaming and crying her eyes out. I stood up and she ran out of the room, the lasses were in the kitchen asking her what was wrong and she was so hysterical that she couldn't get her words out.
I was that scared that I just grabbed my clothes and nashed off, put them on in the lift and ran back to my mate's flat in Heaton.
lasses are mental mind.
You disgust me
You wouldn't be employable afterwards if you didShould have just bucked it shouldn't I?
Also from Google:
"As soon as she touched my hand I came, and started farting uncontrollably."
I went back to a lass's flat with two of her mates with the idea of having a foursome one night after being out in Newcastle. I went into the bedroom with one of the lasses while the other two were outside giggling saying they'd come in and join us once we got going.
Anyway, we're literally seconds away from penetration when the lass just looks at me and goes "who the FUCK are you?"
From the look on her face I knew that it was going to end badly. I said "what do you mean?". She started to get teary-eyed and says again "who are you? I don't know you! What's the fuck's going on?! Get off me!" and started screaming and crying her eyes out. I stood up and she ran out of the room, the lasses were in the kitchen asking her what was wrong and she was so hysterical that she couldn't get her words out.
I was that scared that I just grabbed my clothes and nashed off, put them on in the lift and ran back to my mate's flat in Heaton.
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amazing what stuff is on that google with any given phraseWhat the very fuck man...
forever aloneI went back to a lass's flat with two of her mates with the idea of having a foursome one night after being out in Newcastle. I went into the bedroom with one of the lasses while the other two were outside giggling saying they'd come in and join us once we got going.
Anyway, we're literally seconds away from penetration when the lass just looks at me and goes "who the FUCK are you?"
From the look on her face I knew that it was going to end badly. I said "what do you mean?". She started to get teary-eyed and says again "who are you? I don't know you! What's the fuck's going on?! Get off me!" and started screaming and crying her eyes out. I stood up and she ran out of the room, the lasses were in the kitchen asking her what was wrong and she was so hysterical that she couldn't get her words out.
I was that scared that I just grabbed my clothes and nashed off, put them on in the lift and ran back to my mate's flat in Heaton.
With you writing the scripts and @Her Ivory Tower reading them out I reckon there a pot of money to be made.I have 2 that are in a tie break.
One was a lad from seaton sluice. Don't even know where the fuck that place still is. Met him in jesmond. Went for drinks. I got ridiculously mortal. Went back to his. Woke up on his settee at about 4am after obviously passing out. Went upstairs to find him. Sucked him off then fell asleep. He gave me a lift back to mine in the morning. He went to kiss me to say bye and I puked in his mouth. Never heard from him again.
The other...
Went down shields with a lad. Got ridiculously mortal. (A common theme). Took him back to mine and went on top. (Sorry OP, I put out on first dates). Anyway, I was on top and had no f***ing clue what I was doing. I couldn't function. He then flipped me on my back and I remember him saying 'this is where it starts baby'. Wtf! Then I passed out snoring. So I don't know if it even started or ended. Was mortified in the morning.
Mine are nowt like some of the horrors you lot have, but thought I'd share mine anyway!