Advice needed - emergency dementia care

[Goat Eyes]

Look at the local care and support page rather than central social services.

In my experience, you won’t get anything tonight, and may be lucky to get something immediately but social services will help.

As he already has a care team going in that should make it easier to get the care he needs but again, I doubt he’ll get 24 hour round the clock care at home.

 

[HellsBells]

Look at the local care and support page.

In my experience, you won’t get anything tonight, and may be lucky to get something immediately but social services will help.

As he already has a care team going in that should make it easier to get the care he needs but again, I doubt he’ll get 24 hour round the clock care at home.

This is the bit I don’t understand - if we don’t get anything from 3.30 onwards today then he’s at risk. He’ll be home alone, potentially wandering with none of us nearby.

Like if he didn’t have kids, or we were on holiday, what would happen? How do social services find out, where is the safety net for people like this?

(On hold for SS for 1.20 now).

 

[tunstall birdman]

This is the bit I don’t understand - if we don’t get anything from 3.30 onwards today then he’s at risk. He’ll be home alone, potentially wandering with none of us nearby.

Like if he didn’t have kids, or we were on holiday, what would happen? How do social services find out, where is the safety net for people like this?

(On hold for SS for 1.20 now).

I cannot offer you advice HellsBells but I really hope you get thing sorted. Best wishes.

 

[black cat in france]

Not got any contact with neighbors down in Devon could help in the short term Hells? Mam had dementia, good neighbors are a god send.
Hope it all works out for you.

 

[yamar1]

Looking for advice-

Father in law has dementia. Mother in law is frail and has been taken to a&e today. They both live in Devon, we are 4.5 hours away.

He’s currently at a dementia programme until 3.30 today but he will be dropped off at an empty house. Mr B is jumping in the car and driving down shortly, but what options are available in situations like this? Where is the safety net? We’re on holiday next week so if this happened next week, what happens to him? Who can we speak to remotely to sort out care options?

I’m on hold to their doctors right now, but I know when I’ve asked about this kind of stuff on here before I’ve had some useful replies. Thanks SMB.

Social services as said, i wish you the best of luck in getting sorted. Hopefully he gets fixed up.

 

[Scorer]

Let the dementia program know, if they are linked to council ( or even if not really) they have a duty of care and should also be contacting the LA if there’s a risk to someone they support. They might have a more direct route to communicate with the relevant social services teams.
In theory when paramedics took MiL they should make a referral/ alert social services if someone is being left at risk, that’s essentially the safety net- professionals recognising vulnerability and reporting it. For people that wander and don’t have family it’s often the police that end up getting involved because a member of public is concerned or they present somewhere Lost.

 

[HellsBells]

Not got any contact with neighbors down in Devon could help in the short term Hells? Mam had dementia, good neighbors are a god send.
Hope it all works out for you.

In theory yes, but they’re all old and fragile and half of them have got dementia too.

 

[Goat Eyes]

This is the bit I don’t understand - if we don’t get anything from 3.30 onwards today then he’s at risk. He’ll be home alone, potentially wandering with none of us nearby.

Like if he didn’t have kids, or we were on holiday, what would happen? How do social services find out, where is the safety net for people like this?

(On hold for SS for 1.20 now).

Honestly, I do t think there really is one. For acute interventions such as this he won’t have a safety net. Just hope your husband gets down quickly and he’s safe.

My dad is bed bound and needs care, I’m close by so can respond quickly. This is a lot less simple. I hope you get sorted.

 

[cornish mackem]

Looking for advice-

Father in law has dementia. Mother in law is frail and has been taken to a&e today. They both live in Devon, we are 4.5 hours away.

He’s currently at a dementia programme until 3.30 today but he will be dropped off at an empty house. Mr B is jumping in the car and driving down shortly, but what options are available in situations like this? Where is the safety net? We’re on holiday next week so if this happened next week, what happens to him? Who can we speak to remotely to sort out care options?

I’m on hold to their doctors right now, but I know when I’ve asked about this kind of stuff on here before I’ve had some useful replies. Thanks SMB.

Devon council or their local authority if they are in one of the other council areas. In Cornwall we have block booked beds they can admit too in extreme cases
Get onto the social worker on call and explain.

 

[HellsBells]

Devon council or their local authority if they are in one of the other council areas. In Cornwall we have block booked beds they can admit too in extreme cases
Get onto the social worker on call and explain.

I was on hold (ringing out) for two hours over lunch time. Couldn’t get through to Social Services. Going to try again now.

 

[Goat Eyes]

Are you going through the local care and support team: Care and support - Adult Social Care

You shouldn’t be on hold for hours there. Fingers crossed.

 

[HellsBells]

Are you going through the local care and support team: Care and support - Adult Social Care

You shouldn’t be on hold for hours there. Fingers crossed.

Aye that’s them. Two hours this morning and still didn’t get through. Back trying now.
.

Finally got through. Social Services don't do emergency care. The Doctors arrange that. Which is really f***ing annoying given we spoke to the doctors first thing this morning and they didn't seem to have a Scooby when we asked them.

 

[Wearside Wanderer II]

Hope yer get sorted Hells, stressful time, send our best wishes to B

 

[humbug]

Aye that’s them. Two hours this morning and still didn’t get through. Back trying now.
.

Finally got through. Social Services don't do emergency care. The Doctors arrange that. Which is really f***ing annoying given we spoke to the doctors first thing this morning and they didn't seem to have a Scooby when we asked them.

would your mother in law be able to explain the situation to someone while she's in a&e? they might be able to help. i only say because it was the hospital who contacted social services when my mam needed care.
perhaps the situation might carry more weight/urgency if it comes from them?

hope you get sorted.

 

[Gateshead8]

If he has been medically diagnosed with dementia he should be in a care home not at home?? Your on holiday?? Ok leave my dad fuck him we on holiday let him die. You pay for care?? Or if diagnosed with dementia you get him in a home and get the government to pay buy oh well fuck dad we off on holiday. Good grief

I seriously hope your children treat you the same as fuck dad we off on holiday.

Good grief the human race is dying out.

Hopefully soon the earth doesn't deserve this

No need for that she’s wanting advice in a difficult situation , and I’ve been there myself.

 

[HellsBells]

would your mother in law be able to explain the situation to someone while she's in a&e? they might be able to help. i only say because it was the hospital who contacted social services when my mam needed care.
perhaps the situation might carry more weight/urgency if it comes from them?

hope you get sorted.

We aren’t sure what state she was in when she was taken, so we don’t know. I would have thought the paramedics would have done something when they found out they would be leaving a bloke with dementia behind but I’m not going to blame them, they have a hard enough job as it is.

If he has been medically diagnosed with dementia he should be in a care home not at home?? Your on holiday?? Ok leave my dad fuck him we on holiday let him die. You pay for care?? Or if diagnosed with dementia you get him in a home and get the government to pay buy oh well fuck dad we off on holiday. Good grief

I seriously hope your children treat you the same as fuck dad we off on holiday.

Good grief the human race is dying out.

Hopefully soon the earth doesn't deserve this

Thank mate. All helpful stuff.

For the record, you don’t immediately need to go into a home the minute you are diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He's living okay with his wife and a carer a couple of days a week. It’s when she has an emergency that there’s an issue.

And for the record, we aren’t on holiday. I’m at home spending four hours on the phone trying to get hold of social services to find out what help we can get him.

Usually I get some really good advice on the SMB when it’s needed but sometimes you just get arseholes.

Thanks to everyone who has been helpful so far. It’s really appreciated.

 

[Wearside Wanderer II]

If he has been medically diagnosed with dementia he should be in a care home not at home?? Your on holiday?? Ok leave my dad fuck him we on holiday let him die. You pay for care?? Or if diagnosed with dementia you get him in a home and get the government to pay buy oh well fuck dad we off on holiday. Good grief

I seriously hope your children treat you the same as fuck dad we off on holiday.

Good grief the human race is dying out.

Hopefully soon the earth doesn't deserve this

Do you have to work hard at being an utter tit or does it come naturally?

 

[Sandboy]

When my mam went into hospital in similar circumstances one of the paramedics took this on board and social services were in touch in an hour. He was brilliant, we'd had no joy without his help

 

[lucky]

If it was nearer Me and the Mrs would have sat with him until your wife got there but hope you all OK mate @HellsBells

 

[Scorer]

If he has been medically diagnosed with dementia he should be in a care home not at home?? Your on holiday?? Ok leave my dad fuck him we on holiday let him die. You pay for care?? Or if diagnosed with dementia you get him in a home and get the government to pay buy oh well fuck dad we off on holiday. Good grief

I seriously hope your children treat you the same as fuck dad we off on holiday.

Good grief the human race is dying out.

Hopefully soon the earth doesn't deserve this

I think you’ve misinterpreted this completely. There are more than one million people living with dementia in the U.K. There are roughly 450k care homes beds in total. That’s old age, dementia, mental health, learning disabilities and physical disabilities including brain injury/ stroke etc. The overwhelming majority of people with a diagnosis of dementia are not in care settings. There’s also very good evidence that you should avoid care homes until there is no other option as people tend to deteriorate cognitively quicker and be less independent when not in their own environments.
In this instance the support for mum and dad was in place for them to manage but that’s changed quickly. Not everyone lives ten minutes away from parents and can’t be there immediately. Hells husband is already on the way and they are trying to make arrangements to ensure he and mum are fine and ideally able to stay at home as is almost certainly their preferred wish. I agree- I hope their children are considerate and compassionate enough to listen to their wishes, keep them as independent as possible at home for as long as possible and are willing to drop everything to drive to Devon as soon as needed. I’ll be very happy if my son is the same when I need him.
I’m sure it wasn’t your intention but you’ve jumped in and been unnecessarily judgmental and unkind.