'Dating' culture

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Cockney Mackem said:
1) Where did I say "people doing what they want is an American import"?

2) I didn't say you found it strange, I expressed my personal opinion that it's strange.
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1) post 155
2)I'm in the "it isnt strange" camp from my 1st reply to OP ,You are in the "it is strange" hence we're having an exchange of views

In a nutshell i dont see owt in the first post that is new (google perhaps) and certainly nothing we've suddenly picked up from the states
 
JAZZMANB said:
You say people doing what they want is a new culture brought in from America,that was your point i think? i don't think it is, the Yanks are more for ritual and formality than us i'd say

i found nothing strange in the OP you seemed to go with Seb
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Certainly not comparing the places I've lived. The dating culture I encountered in England was either fuckbuddies or committed relationships with not much in between. It's been 5 years or so though and that was only one city, so I don't know how well it generalizes to the entire country, just as your statement about the Yanks may be accurate in certain places (more conservative areas) but certainly isn't in the big cities on the coasts. Where I've lived in the U.S. while of dating age it's pretty much as described as in the OP for a lot of tiresome people nowadays.
 
SYB_DC said:
Certainly not comparing the places I've lived. The dating culture I encountered in England was either fuckbuddies or committed relationships with not much in between. It's been 5 years or so though and that was only one city, so I don't know how well it generalizes to the entire country, just as your statement about the Yanks may be accurate in certain places (more conservative areas) but certainly isn't in the big cities on the coasts. Where I've lived in the U.S. while of dating age it's pretty much as described as in the OP for a lot of tiresome people nowadays.
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Yeah i was going to add the obvious contrast there will be depending on location as the cities move at incredible rates and the backwaters plod.I Just dont find anything strange in the behaviour,its not the norm but thats just us,maybe its with kids staying at home longer and longer the relationships stay at a sort of halfy half status,i cant imagine being 30 going steady and living with my mother!:eek:
 
Mb_2008 said:
That's wrong I couldn't even date another person let alone fuck them, I would feel to bad
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Why?

I'm not sure what the problem is here. A girl has dates with several men, most will be one offs, some will be a few dates and hopefully one will become exclusive. Where's the problem?

Unless people are saying that it is only permissible to date one person at a time then why is it wrong, provided that everything is above board? And everyone knows where they stand.

The alternative is that you are exclusive to one person from when you start dating them until one or other dumps the other. Which seems like a waste of time to me.

As for sex, one would imagine that both are using some discretion in this situation and taking precautions against disease and pregnancy.
 
JAZZMANB said:
1) post 155
2)I'm in the "it isnt strange" camp from my 1st reply to OP ,You are in the "it is strange" hence we're having an exchange of views

In a nutshell i dont see owt in the first post that is new (google perhaps) and certainly nothing we've suddenly picked up from the states
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Post 155 is in response the statement that people can do what or whom they want unless otherwise stated, which is clearly not just "people doing what they want" but a clear copy of the American dating convention, or in fact the big city / New York dating convention about assuming you're non-exclusive. That is a recent import to the UK, and as such it's not likely that everyone would assume non-exclusive dating like they do over there and I bet not everyone is being open about it.

That's not the same as saying British men were always only one woman men in the past or that I'm expecting everyone to act like they're married.
 
JAZZMANB said:
Yeah i was going to add the obvious contrast there will be depending on location as the cities move at incredible rates and the backwaters plod.I Just dont find anything strange in the behaviour,its not the norm but thats just us,maybe its with kids staying at home longer and longer the relationships stay at a sort of halfy half status,i cant imagine being 30 going steady and living with my mother!:eek:
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What about 60 and living alone and still just going steady even after several years? Would that make a difference? If not then what does age signify?
 
Cockney Mackem said:
Post 155 is in response the statement that people can do what or whom they want unless otherwise stated, which is clearly not just "people doing what they want" but a clear copy of the American dating convention, or in fact the big city / New York dating convention about assuming you're non-exclusive. That is a recent import to the UK, and as such it's not likely that everyone would assume non-exclusive dating like they do over there and I bet not everyone is being open about it.

That's not the same as saying British men were always only one woman men in the past or that I'm expecting everyone to act like they're married.
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Eh! do you think some dumb lass has taken all that nothingness of that paragraph in and is following its precise method? seriously?
We're dissecting shagging protocol into wording now! All seb said in 155 is unless you agree with who you're are seeing you cant see anyone else its open season.That has not just appeared on these shores
 
mcq10 said:
Dear me I'm only 34 but I'm pleased I've been out of "the dating game" for 10 years now. I couldn't be bothered with that shit.


One of my mates is single, the fact he's bi sexual makes his dates a minefield.

I suppose it probably is difficult telling a lass you like it up the chuffer as well as shagging women
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Horrible bastard
 
To avoid all of the dating malarchy I was going to ask for a traditional Indian arranged marriage, then I remembered that my dad has shit taste in women!!
 
Sir Lancelot said:
Why?

I'm not sure what the problem is here. A girl has dates with several men, most will be one offs, some will be a few dates and hopefully one will become exclusive. Where's the problem?

Unless people are saying that it is only permissible to date one person at a time then why is it wrong, provided that everything is above board? And everyone knows where they stand.

The alternative is that you are exclusive to one person from when you start dating them until one or other dumps the other. Which seems like a waste of time to me.

As for sex, one would imagine that both are using some discretion in this situation and taking precautions against disease and pregnancy.
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There's no problem that was a sweeping statement when I said 'that's just wrong' that's was just in my opinion, I just wouldn't feel comfortable myself doing that.

If others are then yeah deffo good for them, like u say no unwanted pregnancies/ sti's then suppose it's all good
 
JAZZMANB said:
Eh! do you think some dumb lass has taken all that nothingness of that paragraph in and is following its precise method? seriously?
We're dissecting shagging protocol into wording now! All seb said in 155 is unless you agree with who you're are seeing you cant see anyone else its open season.That has not just appeared on these shores
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Aye it has. It's always been more common to assume that if you're seeing someone, you're not seeing anyone else. The assumption of the exact opposite is a US import.
 
bench said:
if a lass said to me she was 'dating' someone else as well as seeing me she'd be dumped that second. you'd have to be a right mug to put up with that imo.
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Unless youre shagging two or three as well.
 
They're fucked up like. A bloke's intentions are pretty clear when he goes out for drinks or something with a lass, some lasses are completely naive to it. Saying that, they're a lot more clued up than they'd like lads to believe.

If a lass told me she was 'dating' a few other lads, I'd tell her to fuck off straight away. Dunno how you could stand for that.
 
Cockney Mackem said:
Aye it has. It's always been more common to assume that if you're seeing someone, you're not seeing anyone else. The assumption of the exact opposite is a US import.
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I think for the most part this is the norm either side of the pond but i dont find it strange that not everyone follows it.
I used to get around on my motorbike as a lad,lakes,borders etc and i had a few lasses who i would catch up with if "in town" subject to circumstances for both of us,seemed to work okay,not like i could pop over for an hour on a tuesday night
 
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