Depression

[Bollotti]

Much the same here. Lost my mother to cancer when I was 4 and, for whatever reason, my Dad never talked about her, so I didn't feel that I could talk to him about her either. She was 36. Though I obviously didn't realise what it was at the time, looking back, I was suffering depression throughout my childhood.

Then, when I was 21, my first born son died. He'd have been 21 earlier this year, but there's not a day goes by when I'm not affected by one or both of those deaths. It never goes away, and I can't see me ever really getting over it.

Sorry to hear that. I have good days and bad, but it is always there. I tried to keep a positive appearance, and most people probably think I am over it. They stop asking after a while as life goes on, and they have their own shit to deal with. Sometimes have a feeling of impending doom, which is hard to explain; and I can have this for weeks, sometime months, just waiting for something bad to happen. Rationally I know this is unlikely, but a strange feeling all the same.

 

[Kauto Star]

Just with having a week off work, had plenty of time to meself the last few days and just started dwelling on how horrible I've been in the past to people who cared about me, particularly me ex lass.

We all make mistakes mate. There's times even now I shake my head at some of my actions down the years, but you need to put it behind you.

I hope you get sorted

 

[Medulla]

Just with having a week off work, had plenty of time to meself the last few days and just started dwelling on how horrible I've been in the past to people who cared about me, particularly me ex lass.

Put it down to experience and use it as a positive to make you a better person. Life is a learning curve, we all struggle to be good people and the fact that it stings is enough to show you that you've a good heart.

I mean, give your napper a shake you absolute f***ing wuffter.

 

[Maravilla]

Cheers for all the responses lads

Keep your chin up mate. Go and spend some time with the people who you care about now and get yourself out of the house. You've already identified the problem that you're spending too much time on your own, so do something about it and don't let the bastard beat you without a good fight!

Good luck mate.

Living by myself doesn't really bother me, as I don't really have that much time to do anything during the week after work, but just drags a bit when I have a bit of time off and I've done next to nowt apart from a bit of shopping and a couple of trips to the gym this week.

I've been there mate and it's horrible.

The only advice I can give is to try stop dwelling on the past, what's done is done and the longer you think about stuff like this the worse you feel.

Focus on the positives, exercise, talk to friends and family and most importantly, don't hit the drink hard. The booze nearly killed me in the past, not with the amount but my behaviour with it when depressed.

Good luck marra.

Aye, know to steer well clear of the drink when I'm feeling like this, although I very rarely drink at home these days anyway.

had the same type of experience myself, get yerself out and about and socialising with people everyday, even if you dont feel like it force yourself. time spent dwelling alone on stuff is the worst in my experience. Good luck mate.

Problem is that a lot of me mates have very little idea of how to socialise in ways that doesn't involve going out on the piss. Think I'll be alright next week once I get back to work, I'm very lucky in that I enjoy my job and genuinely like the people that I work with.

 

[Deleted member 5265]

Cheers for all the responses lads



Living by myself doesn't really bother me, as I don't really have that much time to do anything during the week after work, but just drags a bit when I have a bit of time off and I've done next to nowt apart from a bit of shopping and a couple of trips to the gym this week.



Aye, know to steer well clear of the drink when I'm feeling like this, although I very rarely drink at home these days anyway.



Problem is that a lot of me mates have very little idea of how to socialise in ways that doesn't involve going out on the piss. Think I'll be alright next week once I get back to work, I'm very lucky in that I enjoy my job and genuinely like the people that I work with.

Chin up petal. Don't be too hard on yourself about stuff in the past.

 

[shogun1904]

20 years ago, with me every day.

Can't begin to imagine how that feels mate. Every parent worst nightmare. Take care.

@Maravilla you can't change the past so try not to beat yourself up to much about it. Easier said than done I know.

 

[Cheesy Feet]

Cheers for all the responses lads



Living by myself doesn't really bother me, as I don't really have that much time to do anything during the week after work, but just drags a bit when I have a bit of time off and I've done next to nowt apart from a bit of shopping and a couple of trips to the gym this week.



Aye, know to steer well clear of the drink when I'm feeling like this, although I very rarely drink at home these days anyway.



Problem is that a lot of me mates have very little idea of how to socialise in ways that doesn't involve going out on the piss. Think I'll be alright next week once I get back to work, I'm very lucky in that I enjoy my job and genuinely like the people that I work with.

Keep the gym going marra good work out does you the world of good, i posted earlier marra get to your GP, get to a well being clinic and talk to someone, always plenty friendly advice on here anarl, take care mate.

 

[luvulongtime]

Just with having a week off work, had plenty of time to meself the last few days and just started dwelling on how horrible I've been in the past to people who cared about me, particularly me ex lass.

just get on with your life and plod on you'll be ok and don't try to think about your ex,one of your mates will no doubt be sniffing round to keep her company

 

[The Shinning]

just get on with your life and plod on you'll be ok and don't try to think about your ex,one of your mates will no doubt be sniffing round to keep her company

 

[ChrisAshley]

Mate, I went through something similar years ago, and I know what you're going through. An Ex of mine who I was seeing for 4 years had an abortion after she split up with me, just so she didn't have any ties with me etc, and it fucked my head up for ages and I started questioning my self worth. It got to the point that I couldn't even approach a lass for 2 years because my confidence was knocked so much. Keep your chin up mate.

That's horrible that! It's proven an impossible task just to accept who I am but got to keep plodding on, I don't try hard enough tbh which is down to a whole lot of self doubt.

 

[luvulongtime]

but we know this is true, they'll use the 3 gambits to get in a mates ex's knickers
1. sorry to hear about you and (insert name of mate) if you want to talk 'as a mate' aye rightio
2.if you fancy a drink and pizza/kebab/curry,,' as a mate' aye rightio again
3.fancy a few drinks round mine.'you're too good for him etc etc etc ,i've always said that' bend over,and there you go

 

[The Shinning]

but we know this is true, they'll use the 3 gambits to get in a mates ex's knickers
1. sorry to hear about you and (insert name of mate) if you want to talk 'as a mate' aye rightio
2.if you fancy a drink and pizza/kebab/curry,,' as a mate' aye rightio again
3.fancy a few drinks round mine.'you're too good for him etc etc etc ,i've always said that' bend over,and there you go

Sadly quite possible. Life's better without birds!

 

[Dibble]

That's horrible that! It's proven an impossible task just to accept who I am but got to keep plodding on, I don't try hard enough tbh which is down to a whole lot of self doubt.

http://www.latimes.com/science/sciencenow/la-sci-sn-exercise-depression-20140925-story.html

New research out yesterday proving that exercise reduces depression. All to do with the production of a chemical called PGC-1a1. The result: mental wellness in the face of disadvantage, social setbacks and general adversity.

I also found this...

file:///C:/Users/Daniel/Downloads/Ruas%20et%20al%202012.pdf

This highlights that all type of exercise produce the chemical (resistance and endurance) but resistance, especiailly leg resistance exercise enables the most production of the chemical.

Squats!!

 

[ouro]

but we know this is true, they'll use the 3 gambits to get in a mates ex's knickers
1. sorry to hear about you and (insert name of mate) if you want to talk 'as a mate' aye rightio
2.if you fancy a drink and pizza/kebab/curry,,' as a mate' aye rightio again
3.fancy a few drinks round mine.'you're too good for him etc etc etc ,i've always said that' bend over,and there you go

Need to watch yee like.

http://www.latimes.com/science/sciencenow/la-sci-sn-exercise-depression-20140925-story.html

New research out yesterday proving that exercise reduces depression. All to do with the production of a chemical called PGC-1a1. The result: mental wellness in the face of disadvantage, social setbacks and general adversity.

I also found this...

file:///C:/Users/Daniel/Downloads/Ruas%20et%20al%202012.pdf

This highlights that all type of exercise produce the chemical (resistance and endurance) but resistance, especiailly leg resistance exercise enables the most production of the chemical.

Squats!!

I never stop exercising. Unfortunately I never stop drinking either. Luckily our lass feeds me or I'd keel over, when she is away I sometimes forget to eat and make myself a bit ill.

 

[RTRsBM]

I'm seriously at the bottom at the moment and just can't change it. I'm on maximum dies anti depressants and maximum anti anxiety meds so the doc can't help. My life consists of forcing myself to work which us becoming increasingly hard and then lying on the couch. My diet is rubbish and consists of mainly of vegan ice cream and biscuits. I just can't make myself do the things that could help like eating right, going to the gym yoga etc. the tiredness and anxiousness just stops me from doing anything useful.

 

[Skandhaless]

Much the same here. Lost my mother to cancer when I was 4 and, for whatever reason, my Dad never talked about her, so I didn't feel that I could talk to him about her either. She was 36. Though I obviously didn't realise what it was at the time, looking back, I was suffering depression throughout my childhood.

Then, when I was 21, my first born son died. He'd have been 21 earlier this year, but there's not a day goes by when I'm not affected by one or both of those deaths. It never goes away, and I can't see me ever really getting over it.

Hard to bare that 'Kev' lad. Maybe with these things "getting over it " isn't a realistic proposition , we will always have memory and those memories will be sad . One approach used is try to become hyper aware of the emotional suffering that you experience over the losses and to be able to develop a deep sense of self compassion for your own suffering when you rxperience it acutely.
We never really learn to do this well ( see the general culture of this board as illustration, this thread being an exception ) and so we resent and struggle with a very normal and explicable pain that is then with us all the time .
Not an answer I know and I wouldn't expect it to be mate given the circumstances . I suppose all I am saying is that it's ok for you to feel for yourself the compassion we all feel for you but it's a hard skill to learn .
Lady called Kristen neff writes a lot about it if your interested .

 

[Seaham_FTM]

Dinnit gan to the match tomorrow whatever you do

 

[CheersMarra84]

That's horrible that! It's proven an impossible task just to accept who I am but got to keep plodding on, I don't try hard enough tbh which is down to a whole lot of self doubt.

What helped me the most in getting my head straight from the negative thoughts, was exercise. I would go for a a 6 mile run down the Tyne when I was living in Hebburn, and I started going for a swim and gym etc. I stopped drinking for a while as well because it made me feel down, but still went out with mates to socialise and I started eating a better diet too. It does take a while to see any progress, but you will get there mate, it's just patient game.

 

[Derbys Exile]

I've done the tablets, I've done the counselling, how on earth do I rid this horrible thing?

learn some relaxation techniques, deep breathing and stuff. that helped me

 

[Cockney Mackem]

Just with having a week off work, had plenty of time to meself the last few days and just started dwelling on how horrible I've been in the past to people who cared about me, particularly me ex lass.

Best thing you can do about it is to go to those people and apologise for being horrible to them. Don't make excuses but explain what made you like that, how you now realise what was happening and are working on recognising it when it happens and addressing it. If it's too late to mend fences with this people, so be it.

Then concentrate on how you deal with it from now on, including what help you need to do that. Whatever you do don't keep dwelling on what you did "wrong" in the past. Learn from it, try and make up for it, deal with what's happening now.