"Pre season results don't matter"

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not spavin

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Every shit pre-season is swept away with this line, right until the shit pre-season inevitably gives way to a shit actual season.

We're having a shit pre-season because we can't create chances, can't keep clean sheets and can't score goals. That's because our players are shit and we have - yet again - approached the transfer window like it's a lass at a disco and we're a sweaty virgin.

We've performed triage on a Championship-standard defence and spent real money on Lens. And surprise surprise; we look absolutely shit aside from Lens.

It's the 29th of July. If we want to make to 10 years in the Premier League, we need to stop f***ing about and sign some players who are good enough for the Premier League. Not players who were good enough when Westlife were popular, not good enough in Crete, not good enough when they reach puberty - good enough now.

Here's an idea.

Advocaat seems to know what he wants. How about giving him an iPhone and a chequebook, sending Congerton, Short and all of the other fuckwits out for sandwiches and let an actual football man to sign actual footballers. Tell Advocaat to text Congerton when he's a) finished and b) is ready for his tuna melt.

In 2016 we could finish below Bournemouth. f***ing Bournemouth. Fuck systems. Fuck sporting directors. We need some people who are good at playing football, and we need them now.
 


not spavin said:
Every shit pre-season is swept away with this line, right until the shit pre-season inevitably gives way to a shit actual season.

We're having a shit pre-season because we can't create chances, can't keep clean sheets and can't score goals. That's because our players are shit and we have - yet again - approached the transfer window like it's a lass at a disco and we're a sweaty virgin.

We've performed triage on a Championship-standard defence and spent real money on Lens. And surprise surprise; we look absolutely shit aside from Lens.

It's the 29th of July. If we want to make to 10 years in the Premier League, we need to stop f***ing about and sign some players who are good enough for the Premier League. Not players who were good enough when Westlife were popular, not good enough in Crete, not good enough when they reach puberty - good enough now.

Here's an idea.

Advocaat seems to know what he wants. How about giving him an iPhone and a chequebook, sending Congerton, Short and all of the other fuckwits out for sandwiches and let an actual football man to sign actual footballers. Tell Advocaat to text Congerton when he's a) finished and b) is ready for his tuna melt.

In 2016 we could finish below Bournemouth. f***ing Bournemouth. Fuck systems. Fuck sporting directors. We need some people who are good at playing football, and we need them now.
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We did keep a fair few clean sheets last season to be fair but the football was turgid, and I have seen definite signs of more turgidity in the preseason so far. And I agree poor performances are likely to carry on into the season.
 
daveyc said:
I'm torn Spav lad. I don't know whether that's a great post or bed-wetting drivel. Erring towards the former at the minute like.
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We can all agree that last season was shite.

Next season, our squad is a year older and - as things stand - the only significant upgrade we have is Lens. £81m per club in the new TV deal, and we get one player for the Ukrainian leagues. Coates has had about 4 good games in 2 seasons of shite. The SPL is league 1 standard, and Kaboul is a curate's egg.

Mike Ashley gets the headlines, but the only difference between our shambles and theirs is that ours is less interesting to write about. We don't even have a permanent manager. We're 9 years in the Premier League and have a caretaker. Why the fuck would any ambitious player sign for a club that can't even land a manager?
 
not spavin said:
Every shit pre-season is swept away with this line, right until the shit pre-season inevitably gives way to a shit actual season.

We're having a shit pre-season because we can't create chances, can't keep clean sheets and can't score goals. That's because our players are shit and we have - yet again - approached the transfer window like it's a lass at a disco and we're a sweaty virgin.

We've performed triage on a Championship-standard defence and spent real money on Lens. And surprise surprise; we look absolutely shit aside from Lens.

It's the 29th of July. If we want to make to 10 years in the Premier League, we need to stop f***ing about and sign some players who are good enough for the Premier League. Not players who were good enough when Westlife were popular, not good enough in Crete, not good enough when they reach puberty - good enough now.

Here's an idea.

Advocaat seems to know what he wants. How about giving him an iPhone and a chequebook, sending Congerton, Short and all of the other fuckwits out for sandwiches and let an actual football man to sign actual footballers. Tell Advocaat to text Congerton when he's a) finished and b) is ready for his tuna melt.

In 2016 we could finish below Bournemouth. f***ing Bournemouth. Fuck systems. Fuck sporting directors. We need some people who are good at playing football, and we need them now.
Click to expand...

Get a grip man
 
not spavin said:
Every shit pre-season is swept away with this line, right until the shit pre-season inevitably gives way to a shit actual season.

We're having a shit pre-season because we can't create chances, can't keep clean sheets and can't score goals. That's because our players are shit and we have - yet again - approached the transfer window like it's a lass at a disco and we're a sweaty virgin.

We've performed triage on a Championship-standard defence and spent real money on Lens. And surprise surprise; we look absolutely shit aside from Lens.

It's the 29th of July. If we want to make to 10 years in the Premier League, we need to stop f***ing about and sign some players who are good enough for the Premier League. Not players who were good enough when Westlife were popular, not good enough in Crete, not good enough when they reach puberty - good enough now.

Here's an idea.

Advocaat seems to know what he wants. How about giving him an iPhone and a chequebook, sending Congerton, Short and all of the other fuckwits out for sandwiches and let an actual football man to sign actual footballers. Tell Advocaat to text Congerton when he's a) finished and b) is ready for his tuna melt.

In 2016 we could finish below Bournemouth. f***ing Bournemouth. Fuck systems. Fuck sporting directors. We need some people who are good at playing football, and we need them now.
Click to expand...
very well put ............... but the lickspittles wont like it
 
Thomas Hearns said:
We did keep a fair few clean sheets last season to be fair but the football was turgid, and I have seen definite signs of more turgidity in the preseason so far. And I agree poor performances are likely to carry on into the season.
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Parking the bus will get you great GD stats. It'll also get you about 30 points in a season and relegated.

Defoe is out best striker, and he has exceeded 11 league goals once in 10 years. He's closing in on 33 years old and we're paying him £70k a week. And he's a f***ing highlight.

Wickham, Fletcher and Graham are not good enough for this league.
 
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