martinlumley
Striker
When you're having a wank in a lift and the doors open to loads of people waiting.
Pet hates ???
- Thread starter TAFKAHM
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lenshack
Guest
Good list,
plus women conducting some sort of social meeting in the middle of a shopping aisle oblivious to the fact that others are trying to shop.
plus women who can't control a shopping trolley and bang it into the side of my car.
They should be made to pass a test and buy a licence before being turned loose with the perishing things.
D
Deleted member 23273
Guest
Going to the vets.
Having a bath.
Getting flea treatment every month.
Having a bath.
Getting flea treatment every month.
When you're pushing a loaded shopping trolley out of a supermarket and the bovine woman in front of you stops dead right in the middle of the exit for no readily apparent reason and stands there working out her next move. In fact, stopping dead in your tracks should be forbidden in any part of the path to the exit, unless you are prepared to get a nasty bash in the ankles from the trolley behind.
Junior Birdman
Striker
Alan Pardew's bottom lip, the slobbery twat.
Anyone over the age of 14 bombing down a pavement on a push bike.
Anyone over the age of 14 bombing down a pavement on a push bike.
At the bank machine, some daft twat puts their card in, presses a few buttons, gets cash, gets the card back, and then puts it back in again and does something else.
JUST ASK FOR A f***ing RECEIPT
JUST ASK FOR A f***ing RECEIPT
Nookie Bear
Winger
People that leave their pee drips all over toilet seats or worse stale pee / poo in the bowl
Spitting especially if you're walking infront of the culprit
Women who just witter on about nowt and don't understand the concept of comfortable silence
Spitting especially if you're walking infront of the culprit
Women who just witter on about nowt and don't understand the concept of comfortable silence
Junior Birdman
Striker
Normally old ladies, expecting to see the latest episode of Coronation Street man.
Respect your elders
I know a lad who i don't think has ever lifted his toilet seat, I swear there's a layer of salt at the front of the seat where the drips have accumulated, probably forming stalactites of urine salt
KeefBeer
Winger
Fucks sake !!
I do have a long lost twin!
Had a meltdown argument with my wife when she did that.
Also, in ASDA if she changes her mind on produce she will put it down on the nearest shelf not the one it came from.
After 30 years I think she does it just to fuck me off, my fault shouldn't have married a Red House catholic.
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lenshack
Guest
Must confess I always do that myself.
Why waste time and energy searching for the right place to put it back, when there's staff there getting paid to do it for you ?
Sooner I get out the door the better, getting dragged around shops is already a traumatic enough experience for me.
S
Silverfox1981
Guest
People who change their profile pictures numerous times a day.
M
Mark
Guest
People who say "thanking you" instead of "thank you".
FUCK OFF.
FUCK OFF.
mysticmackem
Striker
Jamie Carrigher can't understand a word he says.
Cockneys like Pardew who won't pronounce "th" - Example, we were beat by free goals. (No they weren't free you got dicked, clown), .
Twats with long tongues - what's wrong with these specimens are they alien lizard people? And most work for the BBC - Jeremy Bowen, Dara Obriain, Jane Hill,
Stephanie McGovern, etc
Tuneless whistlers
My neighbours - them, their kids, their dogs, their cars, their curry smells.
People who try to join motorways doing 30 miles an hour down the slip road. Get up to the speed of the traffic you nobs
People (mainly women) who hesitate and won't go at busy roundabouts.
Chavs who say proper all the time. Speak proper, bassas!
People who sniff constantly.
Crunchy foods, especially at breakfast!
Grossly fat people in sports training gear. WTF!
Unruly kids allowed to be so in public
Old miserable, intolerant bassas wearing hoods!
OH! And our lass never being ready on time to go out, and marmite
Cockneys like Pardew who won't pronounce "th" - Example, we were beat by free goals. (No they weren't free you got dicked, clown), .
Twats with long tongues - what's wrong with these specimens are they alien lizard people? And most work for the BBC - Jeremy Bowen, Dara Obriain, Jane Hill,
Stephanie McGovern, etc
Tuneless whistlers
My neighbours - them, their kids, their dogs, their cars, their curry smells.
People who try to join motorways doing 30 miles an hour down the slip road. Get up to the speed of the traffic you nobs
People (mainly women) who hesitate and won't go at busy roundabouts.
Chavs who say proper all the time. Speak proper, bassas!
People who sniff constantly.
Crunchy foods, especially at breakfast!
Grossly fat people in sports training gear. WTF!
Unruly kids allowed to be so in public
Old miserable, intolerant bassas wearing hoods!
OH! And our lass never being ready on time to go out, and marmite
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lenshack
Guest
Foster drinking chavs.
Take your empties home you lazy scruffy buggers.
Take your empties home you lazy scruffy buggers.
The Sinful Dwarf
Midfield
Bono
Herring gulls
Neighbour's dogs
Coat hangers
David Walliams
Tissues that come out of the box or packet all joined together (like Sticky Vicky pulling bunting out her clunge)
Herring gulls
Neighbour's dogs
Coat hangers
David Walliams
Tissues that come out of the box or packet all joined together (like Sticky Vicky pulling bunting out her clunge)
Marty Moose
Striker
People in supermarkets (always women) who wait until everything has gone through the checkout, is bagged and is sat in the trollley before deciding that is an appropriate time to start looking for their purse, which is always hidden in some deep dark recess of their shoulder bag buried under makeup, fanny pads, a notebook, nail varnish, a hair brush and christ knows what else.
People in public toilets who insist on hogging the solitary dryer for an eternity to ensure every last millimetre of exposed hand is bone dry. A queue builds up as they brush each hand furiously for half an hour. Have some consideration, give them a quick blast and get out of the f***ing way.
People who slavver on at pay and display meters pumping in three fistfulls of shrapnel because they are two tight to waste a fifty pence piece. Especially when the machine refuses to accept the knarled 5p they have tried to force in five times in a row, which throws them into panic as they had correct change and nothing left of a similar denominator so they cancel the transaction and start the whole farce again.
People in public toilets who insist on hogging the solitary dryer for an eternity to ensure every last millimetre of exposed hand is bone dry. A queue builds up as they brush each hand furiously for half an hour. Have some consideration, give them a quick blast and get out of the f***ing way.
People who slavver on at pay and display meters pumping in three fistfulls of shrapnel because they are two tight to waste a fifty pence piece. Especially when the machine refuses to accept the knarled 5p they have tried to force in five times in a row, which throws them into panic as they had correct change and nothing left of a similar denominator so they cancel the transaction and start the whole farce again.
safcforever
Striker
I can't wait to clean my car. Its a night on the piss under the seat
I went through a stage of being tired all the time, even after having 10 hours sleep. I started taking vitamin tablets and it sorted me right out.
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