why do some blokes leave their wives if a younger and more attractive option is available

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ANonnyMoose said:
Or one partner's sex drive has dropped off a cliff and the others hasn't. Should the partner who still has the sex drive just do nothing about it for the rest of their life? Is divorce the only answer? I think not. Different cultures handle this very differently, the French for example have always been a lot more open about having mistresses etc. The Brits do the same, just not as openly.

Lets face it - men and women are biologically different in general, before we get into the differences within the one sex. To say you either have to be faithful or get a divorce is far too black and white for the realities of life.
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Very good post. I think you should talk about the problems first but as you say, it isn't fair on someone who needs sex to be denied it. People tend to think sex isn't a need in the sane way being nice, loving, caring etc is. Which is wrong. Why you would you deny your partner enjoyment and fulfillment anyway?

If say a woman has a high sex drive but her fella doesn't, and he wont put out, why shouldn't she get her fix elsewhere?
 
dangermows said:
Very good post. I think you should talk about the problems first but as you say, it isn't fair on someone who needs sex to be denied it. People tend to think sex isn't a need in the sane way being nice, loving, caring etc is. Which is wrong. Why you would you deny your partner enjoyment and fulfillment anyway?
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Everyone talks about staying loyal etc etc while turning a blind eye to all the prossies working across the country - the traditional "married mans relief". But that doesn't count, according to some...
 
ANonnyMoose said:
Everyone talks about staying loyal etc etc while turning a blind eye to all the prossies working across the country - the traditional "married mans relief". But that doesn't count, according to some...
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Its all a bit odd. Like you hear of loads of blokes on here saying they have forgotten what a blow job is now they are married, but seem to accept that's the way it is. But why? You wouldn't put up with a woman treating you like shit in other ways so why should it be okay to stop doing what is essentially the difference between a friend and a partner?

Each to their own but I think getting ya fix elsewhere is better than either putting up without or getting a divorce.
 
Jester said:
If a marriage was happy and fulfilling, a person wud be highly unlikely to leave his wife/partner for a younger one.

It is only when one person in the relationship is unhappy, or unfulfilled, that they start to look about for a new partner. When they meet someone who they perceive will make them happier and more fulfilled they leave their current partner for a new significant other.
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This is a different thing from one person to another and unfortunately some are never happy and it becomes hard work convincing them otherwsie

Sir Lancelot said:
It's most unlikely that only one person in the relationship is unhappy. In the vast majority of cases both people are unhappy with the situation. Saying you are unhappy as an excuse to shag round is scraping the barrel for excuses, in my opinion. The adult way to remove the unhappiness is to talk to your partner, identify the problems and attempt to find a solution to it. Even if that solution involves separation and divorce.

Those who just jump ship and go off shagging someone are generally likely to find themselves in exactly the same situation months or years down the line. Because in many cases the problems are intrinsic to themselves and if they constantly deny those problems exist they will never remove them and live in harmony.
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100 % what happened to me,i thought we were happy,my wife pretended she was(or was she?),her basic lack of being able to share how she feels with the people closest to her means she will never be happy,because she is the common denominator.She now "happy" with a new bloke but its based on nothing except selfishness
 
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No - me and my first missus split up independently of me getting the younger model but now going through divorce number two as she's buggered off too leaving the kids with me... 'cos she traded me in for a younger model - who also happens to have since been convicted of battery against her...!
 
Surrey Mackem said:
No - me and my first missus split up independently of me getting the younger model but now going through divorce number two as she's buggered off too leaving the kids with me... 'cos she traded me in for a younger model - who also happens to have since been convicted of battery against her...!
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On the plus side, you've got the kids and a 7 month relegation battle to keep your mind off it.
 
Surrey Mackem said:
No - me and my first missus split up independently of me getting the younger model but now going through divorce number two as she's buggered off too leaving the kids with me... 'cos she traded me in for a younger model - who also happens to have since been convicted of battery against her...!
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At least it hasnt been boring I guess.......
 
Surrey Mackem said:
No - me and my first missus split up independently of me getting the younger model but now going through divorce number two as she's buggered off too leaving the kids with me... 'cos she traded me in for a younger model - who also happens to have since been convicted of battery against her...!
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She probably deserved it.
 
ANonnyMoose said:
Or one partner's sex drive has dropped off a cliff and the others hasn't. Should the partner who still has the sex drive just do nothing about it for the rest of their life? Is divorce the only answer? I think not. Different cultures handle this very differently, the French for example have always been a lot more open about having mistresses etc. The Brits do the same, just not as openly.

Lets face it - men and women are biologically different in general, before we get into the differences within the one sex. To say you either have to be faithful or get a divorce is far too black and white for the realities of life.
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Fair enough, but if you are to find sex elsewhere then you should still talk to the other person rather than sneak round. They might want to stay married to you but not have sex and be willing to accept you get sex elsewhere. But it's out in the open and both know exactly where you stand.

In that situation though, I would be insisting it was paid for sex and never with the same person more than once, and absolutely no conversation either in person or via phone or text. It would just be for sexual relief and absolutely no emotional content.

Of course they could feel the idea of you seeking sex elsewhere is intolerable and if you persist then they want a divorce but at least you both know where you stand.
 
dangermows said:
and others don't?

Scientifically aren't we supposedly driven by attractiveness/sex/reproduction?

Are some blokes genetically wired up wrong or does the thing driving us cease as we get older or have already reproduced?

This isn't a question regarding love or morals etc. More the actual science behind it.

* its on the back of a debate at work, with a lass actually arguing its just the way blokes are designed.
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I once heard that it is all about 'head'. Whatever that means.
 
Sir Lancelot said:
Fair enough, but if you are to find sex elsewhere then you should still talk to the other person rather than sneak round. They might want to stay married to you but not have sex and be willing to accept you get sex elsewhere. But it's out in the open and both know exactly where you stand.

In that situation though, I would be insisting it was paid for sex and never with the same person more than once, and absolutely no conversation either in person or via phone or text. It would just be for sexual relief and absolutely no emotional content.

Of course they could feel the idea of you seeking sex elsewhere is intolerable and if you persist then they want a divorce but at least you both know where you stand.
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Fuck that man, if im letting my missus get shagged its not costing us!

Am I correct in assuming you are female?
 
I have cheated in previous relationships like including one really awful but kinky fling with my ex's best friend where i would pick her up during the night and rattle her in my car in the back street outside my ex's house while she slept not far away.... She was a right crazy dirty bitch come to think about it.
Now things are different. With my current partner I have 2 daughters, and I would not only be cheating on her i would be betraying my children.
Anyway, our lass is absolute filth in bed so I don't feel the need ;)
 
sonson said:
Because some men have integrity and the capacity to honour promises they made, and others don't
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Each to their own, but lets be honest, people who dont stray often dont cos they are told it is wrong (usually cos they have made some vows in relation to some man made bollocks religion). If it wasnt for that more would IMO. I personally think it is wrong for a person to deny their partner sex. In fact I find it bizarre to not want to have sex with your partner. In those cases I dont blame a person for getting it elsewhere.

The best ever scenario would be to be with someone who didnt mind if you roll shag other people. Must be class going to swingers parties with ya missus like.

Seaham_FTM said:
Now things are different. With my current partner I have 2 daughters, and I would not only be cheating on her i would be betraying my children.
Anyway, our lass is absolute filth in bed so I don't feel the need ;)
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The only two valid reasons not to :lol:

*although the point to the thread was more abou tmen leaving their wives when they reach middle age rather than f***ing around.
 
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