Advice Needed Folks

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dafunk2

dafunk2

Winger
Where to start...??? Well after 3 years of marriage and 8 years together the mrs has moved out and there isn't any way back. To say I'm devastated is an understatement. We're both off work as this has totally destroyed us both. I'm still in the house and she's moved in with her Dad.

I have an 11 year old daughter from a previous relationship, and my ex has obviously been a huge part of her life. She was bridesmaid at our wedding and they both adore each other.

I'm at a complete loss as to how I/we tell her. When me and her mum split up she was only 3 and I think it was so much easier at that age. She absolutely worships the ground that my (now) ex walks on, and I really don't know the best way to deal with this. Any help or advice would be massively appreciated.

I know there are a few folk on here that know me, and I would really appreciate that you don't say anything to anyone as it's still early days and only a couple of people know about what's happened.
 


Sucks big time doesn't it.

4 months from now everything will be better but the next couple of weeks will be tough

your daughter will probably be your best comfort and you hers so I'd suggest a snuggly cuddly night on friday to talk it through

get in lots of ice cream and her favourite and your favourite treats and films xxx

I'm so sorry you are hurting now but it will be for the best, you'll see xxx

oh, nearly forgot... fancy a fuck? :p
 
I have a 10yr old son and we split last year(not my idea by a long way) after me being there all his life,i take it she knows something has happened?All you can do is say you don't love each other any more and though there will be changes it doesn't change how you both feel about her.
Probably different in this case as your new ex isn't her mother so there's no obligation there
As much as my wife's behaviour was bad from where i was sitting people splitting and not putting a decent shift into a relationship is quite common and your daughter will have a few mates in similar positions
 
CatRyan said:
Sucks big time doesn't it.

4 months from now everything will be better but the next couple of weeks will be tough

your daughter will probably be your best comfort and you hers so I'd suggest a snuggly cuddly night on friday to talk it through

get in lots of ice cream and her favourite and your favourite treats and films xxx

I'm so sorry you are hurting now but it will be for the best, you'll see xxx

oh, nearly forgot... fancy a fuck? :p
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Thanks for the words...but more importantly thanks for making me laugh!! ;) xx
 
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dafunk2 said:
Thanks for the words...but more importantly thanks for making me laugh!! ;) xx

Should have mentioned that my daughter lives with her mum, and she came to ours at weekends. She's coming this weekend.
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you're welcome

get on snap chat and have some fun, join Match and eHarmony and get thinking about your next disaster rather than the one that just walked out the door, get yourself out with your mates and your family and allow the good things in now, they are there just waiting for you to see them xxx
 
*Probably should have mentioned that my daughter lives with her mum and comes to ours at weekends...
 
You'll be surprised how quickly your 11 year old will bounce back after doubtless being heartbroken. You don't mention if there are plans for them to keep in touch (early days I guess).

Anyway - good luck. One door closes another will open. You'll see.
 
dafunk2 said:
*Probably should have mentioned that my daughter lives with her mum and comes to ours at weekends...
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well that is awesome then, you can get out on the lash immediately

has your ex removed all her shit yet? if not pack it all up for her and move on

;)
 
Geronimo said:
You'll be surprised how quickly your 11 year old will bounce back after doubtless being heartbroken. You don't mention if there are plans for them to keep in touch (early days I guess).

Anyway - good luck. One door closes another will open. You'll see.
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Cheers mate. I think that's part of the issue too...I'm not sure it would be good if the contact just stopped??
 
Least you've learnt one thing...

Youre shit at picking them.
 
dafunk2 said:
Cheers mate. I think that's part of the issue too...I'm not sure it would be good if the contact just stopped??
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It is difficult to make a complete split when there is a connection,my son in my case,seeing my wife regularly isn't ideal when stuff is raw and you want to crack on
 
Sorry to hear that. Just be honest with the bairn and explain what has happened and be there to comfort her. Make sure she knows it's not her fault.

Maybe set up a visit with the ex so that they can say their goodbyes and she can get closure. Depends on how you all feel about it.

Look after yourself pet. It'll get easier in time xx
 
buck your ex's mam, sister (and brother if you are that way inclined) then snap chat her the pics.

as for your daughter - she'll be fine mate - she's not exactly a 'kid' at 11 so I think if you sit her down and explain to her whats happened then she will be upset but she will eventually understand.

btw - how is there no going back with you and your missus - surely you can work on it if, as you say splitting up is killing you both?
 
dafunk2 said:
Where to start...??? Well after 3 years of marriage and 8 years together the mrs has moved out and there isn't any way back. To say I'm devastated is an understatement. We're both off work as this has totally destroyed us both. I'm still in the house and she's moved in with her Dad.

I have an 11 year old daughter from a previous relationship, and my ex has obviously been a huge part of her life. She was bridesmaid at our wedding and they both adore each other.

I'm at a complete loss as to how I/we tell her. When me and her mum split up she was only 3 and I think it was so much easier at that age. She absolutely worships the ground that my (now) ex walks on, and I really don't know the best way to deal with this. Any help or advice would be massively appreciated.

I know there are a few folk on here that know me, and I would really appreciate that you don't say anything to anyone as it's still early days and only a couple of people know about what's happened.
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Kids are never bothered man cos they get 2 lots of christmas presents and 2 lots of birthday presents :lol:
 
becs said:
Sorry to hear that. Just be honest with the bairn and explain what has happened and be there to comfort her. Make sure she knows it's not her fault.

Maybe set up a visit with the ex so that they can say their goodbyes and she can get closure. Depends on how you all feel about it.

Look after yourself pet. It'll get easier in time xx
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Cheers Becs
 
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