Classic comedy lines..

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Parkmaverick said:
Reggie: So come on, Jimmy, who are you going to fight when this balloon of yours goes up?

Jimmy: Forces of anarchy: wreckers of law and order. Communists, Maoists, Trotskyists, neo-Trotskyists, crypto-Trotskyists, union leaders, Communist union leaders, atheists, agnostics, long-haired weirdos, short-haired weirdos, vandals, hooligans, football supporters, namby-pamby probation officers, rapists, papists, papist rapists, foreign surgeons (headshrinkers, who ought to be locked up), Wedgwood Benn, keg bitter, punk rock, glue-sniffers, Play For Today, squatters, Clive Jenkins, Roy Jenkins, Up Jenkins, up everybody's, Chinese restaurants - why do you think Windsor Castle is ringed with Chinese restaurants?

Reggie: You realise the sort of people you're going to attract, don't you Jimmy? Thugs, bully-boys, psychopaths, sacked policemen, security guards, sacked security guards, racialists, Paki-bashers, queer-bashers, Chink-bashers, anybody-bashers, Rear Admirals, queer Admirals, Vice-Admirals, fascists, neo-fascists, crypto-fascists, loyalists, neo-loyalists, crypto-loyalists.

Jimmy: Do you really think so? I thought support might be difficult.
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Loved that, even if they did take it off Blazing Saddles.
 
Only reason in got into medicine was for the laughs. Well that and the pussy, and that dried up years ago if you pardon the expression.



If that's how you treat your friends, imagine how you treat your enemies. Worse I expect!
 
Taggart: What do you want me to do, sir?

Hedley Lamarr: I want you to round up every vicious criminal and gunslinger in the west. Take this down.

[Taggart looks for a pen and paper while Hedley talks]

Hedley Lamarr: I want rustlers, cut throats, murderers, bounty hunters, desperados, mugs, pugs, thugs, nitwits, halfwits, dimwits, vipers, snipers, con men, Indian agents, Mexican bandits, muggers, buggerers, bushwhackers, hornswogglers, horse thieves, bull dykes, train robbers, bank robbers, ass-kickers, shit-kickers and Methodists.

Taggart: [finding pen and paper] Could you repeat that, sir?

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Peter: Well, Mr. Spigott, need I point out to you where your deficiency lies as regards landing the role?
Dudley: Yes, I think you ought to.
Peter: Need I say with overmuch emphasis that it is in the leg division that you are deficient.
Dudley: The leg division?
Peter: Yes, the leg division, Mr. Spigott. You are deficient in it — to the tune of one. Your right leg I like. I like your right leg. A lovely leg for the role. That's what I said when I saw you come in. I said ‘A lovely leg for the role.’ I've got nothing against your right leg. The trouble is — neither have you. You fall down on your left.
Dudley: You mean it's inadequate?
Peter: Yes, it's inadequate, Mr. Spigott. And, to my mind, the British public is not ready for the sight of a one-legged ape-man swinging through the jungly tendrils.
 
Blazing Saddles again: Commenting on the Sherrif's poor reception from the townsfolk...

What did you expect? "Welcome, sonny?" "Make yourself at home?" "Marry my daughter?" You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay of the new West. You know... morons.
 
Grandma: Sir, can I trouble you for a warm glass of milk? It helps me go to sleep.

Nursing Home Orderly: You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up. Now, you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You're in my world now, grandma.
 
Steeeeed said:
Grandma: Sir, can I trouble you for a warm glass of milk? It helps me go to sleep.

Nursing Home Orderly: You can trouble me for a warm glass of shut the hell up. Now, you will go to sleep or I will put you to sleep. Check out the name tag. You're in my world now, grandma.
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Happy Gilmore?
 
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