Worst First date

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Went out with a lass a few years ago, set up by a mutual friend. Turns out she had a live-in boyfriend who was away for the night. Had a cracking night, back to hers and got down to it in the spare room. She promptly fell asleep and left me hanging. Next morning we picked up from where we had started, she was halfway through getting "handy" with me when her boyfriend called. She carried on throughout the phonecall, and we got down to it properly once she had hung up.

Not a bad first date all in all...

Steeeeed said:
Your cock would have looked massive if she wanked you off with her tiny hands...
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:lol:
 
About 30 years ago I had been trying to pull a stunner of a barmaid called Katie in Ruperts' Club for a few weeks. It had become a sort of good-natured closing time ritual between us that I would beg her to come home with me after she had finished work at 2 a.m. and she would tell me to get lost.

One Thursday night a week before the Good Friday I upped the ante by inviting her to come water-skiing with me and my mates to The Lake District for the Easter weekend. To my total astonishment she agreed. I didn't have a tent and she and I would be in my best mate's 2-bed tent with him which she said would not be a problem as we could just share a sleeping bag :eek::D.

So about six of us lads and four or five girlfriends and Katie all piled over to Ullswater and she learned how to water-ski in a borrowed wetsuit. Katie was athletic.

That night we went to the local boozer and we had all had a fair bit to drink when Katie, who was particularly enjoying herself, leaned over to me and whispered loudly "I presume you're going to fuck me tonight" in a way that was not a statement but a command. Everyone in our part of the pub heard it and there were catcalls and sniggers galore.

The situation had changed. I was no longer the hunter but the hunted!

We got back to the campsite pissed. Everyone went to bed and my mate and I let Katie get undressed and into the sleeping bag before we went into the tent. My mate then got into his bag and I got in with Katie. We started necking and fondling and pretty soon my mate started snoring theatrically to give the impression that Katie and I had some privacy. I was as horny as hell and after a short spell of necking and me fondling her tits I was desperate to get inside her. I decided to forego the fingering phase so got in position and tried to get my old man in but no amount of shoving worked. After a minute or so of frustrated shoving Katie loudly hissed that it would help if I took her knickers off. At this, my mate could contain himself no longer and howled with laughter. So did all my other mates who were listening outside the tent.:evil::evil:.

I pride myself on the fact that this embarrassment did not deter me. The knickers were successfully removed and mission enjoyably accomplished. However in the cold light of day the following morning Katie was mortified and the rest of the day was spent in a very uncomfortable atmosphere before we came home and I dropped her off at her flat in Shields with no request for a rematch.

I steered clear of Ruperts Club for a few weeks after that.
 
Scimmy said:
About 30 years ago I had been trying to pull a stunner of a barmaid called Katie in Ruperts' Club for a few weeks. It had become a sort of good-natured closing time ritual between us that I would beg her to come home with me after she had finished work at 2 a.m. and she would tell me to get lost.

One Thursday night a week before the Good Friday I upped the ante by inviting her to come water-skiing with me and my mates to The Lake District for the Easter weekend. To my total astonishment she agreed. I didn't have a tent and she and I would be in my best mate's 2-bed tent with him which she said would not be a problem as we could just share a sleeping bag :eek::D.

So about six of us lads and four or five girlfriends and Katie all piled over to Ullswater and she learned how to water-ski in a borrowed wetsuit. Katie was athletic.

That night we went to the local boozer and we had all had a fair bit to drink when Katie, who was particularly enjoying herself, leaned over to me and whispered loudly "I presume you're going to fuck me tonight" in a way that was not a statement but a command. Everyone in our part of the pub heard it and there were catcalls and sniggers galore.

The situation had changed. I was no longer the hunter but the hunted!

We got back to the campsite pissed. Everyone went to bed and my mate and I let Katie get undressed and into the sleeping bag before we went into the tent. My mate then got into his bag and I got in with Katie. We started necking and fondling and pretty soon my mate started snoring theatrically to give the impression that Katie and I had some privacy. I was as horny as hell and after a short spell of necking and me fondling her tits I was desperate to get inside her. I decided to forego the fingering phase so got in position and tried to get my old man in but no amount of shoving worked. After a minute or so of frustrated shoving Katie loudly hissed that it would help if I took her knickers off. At this, my mate could contain himself no longer and howled with laughter. So did all my other mates who were listening outside the tent.:evil::evil:.

I pride myself on the fact that this embarrassment did not deter me. The knickers were successfully removed and mission enjoyably accomplished. However in the cold light of day the following morning Katie was mortified and the rest of the day was spent in a very uncomfortable atmosphere before we came home and I dropped her off at her flat in Shields with no request for a rematch.

I steered clear of Ruperts Club for a few weeks after that.
Click to expand...

Best bit of the story right there.
 
Marcosplace said:
Students days in Newcastle. My mate pulled a lass in a pub- he'd been trying for weeks with her. They went back to his flat. She was wearing a long skirt - his hand went under and she then told him to loosen the leg for her - a prosthetic leg......... He never knew. She thought he did! Anyway...he still did the deed.
Click to expand...

So a bit of a log over
 
Scimmy said:
About 30 years ago I had been trying to pull a stunner of a barmaid called Katie in Ruperts' Club for a few weeks. It had become a sort of good-natured closing time ritual between us that I would beg her to come home with me after she had finished work at 2 a.m. and she would tell me to get lost.

One Thursday night a week before the Good Friday I upped the ante by inviting her to come water-skiing with me and my mates to The Lake District for the Easter weekend. To my total astonishment she agreed. I didn't have a tent and she and I would be in my best mate's 2-bed tent with him which she said would not be a problem as we could just share a sleeping bag :eek::D.

So about six of us lads and four or five girlfriends and Katie all piled over to Ullswater and she learned how to water-ski in a borrowed wetsuit. Katie was athletic.

That night we went to the local boozer and we had all had a fair bit to drink when Katie, who was particularly enjoying herself, leaned over to me and whispered loudly "I presume you're going to fuck me tonight" in a way that was not a statement but a command. Everyone in our part of the pub heard it and there were catcalls and sniggers galore.

The situation had changed. I was no longer the hunter but the hunted!

We got back to the campsite pissed. Everyone went to bed and my mate and I let Katie get undressed and into the sleeping bag before we went into the tent. My mate then got into his bag and I got in with Katie. We started necking and fondling and pretty soon my mate started snoring theatrically to give the impression that Katie and I had some privacy. I was as horny as hell and after a short spell of necking and me fondling her tits I was desperate to get inside her. I decided to forego the fingering phase so got in position and tried to get my old man in but no amount of shoving worked. After a minute or so of frustrated shoving Katie loudly hissed that it would help if I took her knickers off. At this, my mate could contain himself no longer and howled with laughter. So did all my other mates who were listening outside the tent.:evil::evil:.

I pride myself on the fact that this embarrassment did not deter me. The knickers were successfully removed and mission enjoyably accomplished. However in the cold light of day the following morning Katie was mortified and the rest of the day was spent in a very uncomfortable atmosphere before we came home and I dropped her off at her flat in Shields with no request for a rematch.

I steered clear of Ruperts Club for a few weeks after that.
Click to expand...
I've pretended to be asleep on a sofa to let my mate get his end away with a lass on the floor. He couldn't get a hard on though so he's forever been known as the melty man
 
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