Unoffensive joke thread

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PTR said:
(Sorry Mods - probably a bit too much.)
I'll try again

I haven't slept for 3 days, because that would be too long

I asked my North Korean friend how it was there. He said he couldn't complain

I was at the ATM, and an old lady asked me to check her balance. So I pushed her over

Whiteboards are remarkable
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I thought this was all one joke, hand me so confused for several minutes :eek:
 


Little boy and girl arguing about who has the best toys and as final ploy boy pulls down his pants and says "my dad says you'll never have one of these! " little girl retorts by pulling down hers and says " my mam says as long as I have one of these I can have as many of them as I want !!"
 
Knock knock
Who's there
Television
Television who?
Tell a fishnchip shop by its smell

A man walks into a bar............ouch an iron bar

Two blokes walk into a pub
Barman what are you having?
pint for me and half for my mate Donkey
Barman says did you hear what he just call you?
Eeyore eeyore he always calls me that
 
a man walks into a bar

he says,

"ow"

---

what did the rock say to the ocean?

nothing

rock's can't speak

---

A man says "doctor doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains"

the doctor says

"well pull yourself together then"

---

seven

is a prime example

of an odd number

---

I understand how batteries feel

because

I'm never included in anything either
 
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